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How to tell him?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Right, bit of a weird question, but here goes. I'm 19, and at uni. I've met this guy recently, and although nothing's actually happened yet, we've been getting really close and it's obvious we both like each other. Thing is, I had a bad experience with sex when I was younger. I got ridiculously drunk, and ended up in bed with this guy....stupid thing is, I can't even remember if we had sex. He told his friends we did, but I don't have a clue. I know that makes me sound like an absolute whore, but I was too drunk to remember anything. Since then I've been so wary about sex, and haven't slept with anyone...I just don't know what to say, how can I say 'sorry but I don't even know if I'm a virgin or not'? I know I need to say something to this guy, cos I really like him...I just don't now what to do. Can anyone help?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    theres a layer of skin in the vagina that breaks when you first have sex, you can have tests to see if its bin broken or not, but then again, the skin doesnt fair much of an oponent to dildo's and such :E

    and perhaps you should just forget about that bad experience, in my eyes, your a virgin untill you willingly give your body to someone in an act of love.

    put it in the back of your mind and it will go away...and take it one step at a time with this guy, tell him your a virgin and your a bit worried, and want to take it slow...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bennie
    theres a layer of skin in the vagina that breaks when you first have sex, you can have tests to see if its bin broken or not

    This bit was bollocks but I think the rest of the advice is cool...

    You really need to think in terms of being a virgin as you have no memory of what happened before. If he's an understanding bloke he won't see your being a virgin as a problem and he'll treat you with respect, Its hard to tell someone that you are a virgin but its best to tell him because the experience will be less scary for you than if you kept it quiet.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Argh, these kinda circumstances suck... im in this kinda circumstance now
    Everybody thinks im not a virgin, but i am...( only 14 btw lol )
    Its ridiculous for ME to be worrying about it atm....but im sure if you explain to him what happened, if hes a decent guy he will understand.
    While we're on the subject..i need some help on telling the new g/f im a virgin when she thinks im not :S?
    Jez
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    so...i happen to agree wiv bennie on this one...hu cares wetha sum dickhed at scool has been immature enuf to go tellin his m8s ...if u cant b sure then lean towards the one u wood rather it be...i meen for instance look at roy cropper and tracy barlow of coronation st...she sed they had sex but didnt...nobody is gunna kno,...truth is he was prob wrecked to...forget about it...and if u really like this guy go 4 it k!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You should think of it as a bad experience with alcohol not with sex. If you dont remember it Id find it highly unlikely that it happened.

    Bennie, the hymen is not a reliable indicator, as any fule kno. The hymen often breaks during sport or when a girl first uses a tampon.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well before your even with they guy I wouldnt go bringing this up-
    When you are with him and you think your ready the tell him in confidenbtiality. Trust is the thing that will help you out-

    Just enjoy however it ends up and try to put these ideas in the back of your head for now!
    Good luck

    Doc
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bennie
    theres a layer of skin in the vagina that breaks when you first have sex, you can have tests to see if its bin broken or not

    There aren't any tests but you can get it checked
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