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Don't want to go get together

RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 5,777 Part of The Furniture
edited October 10 in Home, Law & Money
I was going to talk about this in chat but had a lot of other stuff to go through. Anyway my uncle is trying to make me go to this Christmas do with a football community I used to be part of, which I unfortunately can’t fully explain why I’m still associated with as it’s a long story. I left months ago, but recently the organisers reached out, offering a get-together, and they’ve now agreed on it and are planning it. I think it’s just going to be a Christmas meal, but somehow this has got back to my uncle, and now he wants me to go. I really don’t want to. I stopped going to the sessions a long time ago because I’m not into football. I only joined that group because I was at the venue anyway, so I thought I might as well join and play, but I eventually got bored with it and left the group.

It all feels a bit much, because when I went, I just wanted to play football and then go home. I never really wanted to be there in the first place on the last few weeks. It started feeling like it was turning into something more than that, which is probably why I ended up leaving. Now I’m getting pushed into these get-togethers I don’t want to be part of anymore, and it feels a bit forced. I don’t know most of the people there anymore, and I feel fine as I am, but he keeps insisting I should go.

Comments

  • NathanNathan Community Connector Posts: 2,479 Boards Champion
    @Redemption don't be pressured into going to a get together that you don't want to go to. The fact is, what you've told us in the past from that football club, you had very good reason to leave it. Don't be dragged back by another person, family or not, into a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, with people who have acted very poorly to you in the past. It's okay not to go bro.
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 2,781 Boards Guru
    @Redemption , thank you for making this post. It sounds like such a tricky situation to be in, and I get the sense that your boundaries are being kind of pushed and overlooked here! It sounds like you really don't want to go, and that's entirely valid. I can imagine it being quite stressful to be made to feel like you 'should'.

    What do you think is making your uncle push for these get-togethers? I wonder if you could have a conversation with him at all to try to understand where this pushiness is coming from, and to explain your boundaries and perspective?
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 5,777 Part of The Furniture
    Nathan wrote: »
    @Redemption don't be pressured into going to a get together that you don't want to go to. The fact is, what you've told us in the past from that football club, you had very good reason to leave it. Don't be dragged back by another person, family or not, into a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable, with people who have acted very poorly to you in the past. It's okay not to go bro.

    @Nathan Thanks, I really appreciate you saying that. It means a lot to have someone remind me that it’s okay to put my own well-being first. I think I needed to hear thatI won’t force myself into something that would make me uncomfortable.
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 5,777 Part of The Furniture
    Sian321 wrote: »
    @Redemption , thank you for making this post. It sounds like such a tricky situation to be in, and I get the sense that your boundaries are being kind of pushed and overlooked here! It sounds like you really don't want to go, and that's entirely valid. I can imagine it being quite stressful to be made to feel like you 'should'.

    What do you think is making your uncle push for these get-togethers? I wonder if you could have a conversation with him at all to try to understand where this pushiness is coming from, and to explain your boundaries and perspective?

    @Sian321 Thanks for understanding. I’m feeling frustrated and a bit pressured by my uncle pushing for these get-togethers. I don’t want to go back into a situation that makes me uncomfortable, especially with people who have treated me poorly before. I’m not sure why he’s pushing so much, but I think I need to explain my boundaries and perspective more clearly so he understands how I feel.
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