Argument with my bf

user123

My bf encourages me to call other men attractive and says he likes to hear it but I’m not sure how I would feel if he said this about a woman. He is saying it’s a double standard. I don’t know if this is appropriate in a relationship or how I feel.

shannon_164

hey @user123 🙂

that’s a really valid thing to feel unsure about, relationships can get complicated when it comes to boundaries like this. it’s good that your boyfriend is open about what he’s comfortable with, but that doesn’t mean you have to feel the same way or ignore how it makes you feel.

you’re not wrong for feeling weird about the idea of him saying the same thing about other women. i don’t think it is necessarily a double standard, it’s just different people having different comfort zones. what matters is that both of you feel respected and safe emotionally!

maybe it could help to talk it through with him honestly, not in a confrontational way, but just to explain that you’re still figuring out how you feel about it? you’re allowed to set boundaries, even if he’s ok with things you’re not. mutual respect is way more important than doing things “equally” if one side feels uncomfortable.

at the end of the day, a healthy relationship means being able to say, “hey, I’m not sure how i feel about this,” and being heard, without pressure or guilt. you are so deserving of that!

i hope you’re ok