If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. For Crisis Support (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Want to share your experience of using our Community?
We're collecting Community Case Studies which could be used on our website, on social media, shared with our volunteers, or shared with third parties who may be interested to hear how online communities help people.
Click here to fill out our anonymous form
We're collecting Community Case Studies which could be used on our website, on social media, shared with our volunteers, or shared with third parties who may be interested to hear how online communities help people.
Click here to fill out our anonymous form
I don't know anymore.
Past User
Posts: 0 Community Veteran
The user and all related content has been deleted.
8
Comments
It’s understandable that you’d want to protect yourself from the intensity of those emotions and at the same time it makes sense that you would want to be there for others too. You're not alone in feeling this way even though it might seem like it right now. What you're going through is really hard but it doesn’t mean you’re stuck forever and it definitely doesn’t make you stupid or incapable.
How have you been managing the moments when you feel like you can’t cry, or when everything feels overwhelmingly crappy? Are there any small things that give you even a little bit of relief or comfort, even if just for a moment?
Also, you mentioned trying to stay clean from self-harm and you should be really proud of yourself for trying - this isn't easy. What has been helping you in those moments when the urges feel particularly strong?
You will always deserve support even if it's hard to reach out or accept it. Would it be helpful to talk more about what makes it difficult to open up, or what you feel you might need to make that easier?
We're here for you Chloe
Hey, I just want to say that it’s good that you’re talking about it because it shows that you don’t recognise that it’s not a healthy coping strategy.
I’ve had my fair share of self harm. People misunderstand it. It’s like taking the pain away that’s inside by feeling pain outside.
They labelled me as an attention seeker (because everyone is a psychiatrist these days) which made me do it more until I got really ill and I’ll just say that I’m lucky to be alive today.
I’m telling you this because - I want don’t want you to feel alone. That’s the worst thing to feel like in this situation.
That feeling of not being able to cry? I struggled with that. I felt sad but it’s like I became desensitised and the only way to feel was self harm. But there’s hope.
Self harm is an addiction. And like any addiction you can recover. Remember it’s not about stopping self harm completely. You need a system - every time you feel like it find something you like to do. Whether it’s surfing, listening to music, writing down what you’re feeling, meditating - anything that makes those urges go away temporarily.
I said temporarily because like any addiction you can go into remission or you can relapse. Don’t beat yourself up if you do it again. Instead prepare for the next day, so you don’t do it for that day. Then count each day as being free from self harm.
This helped me because instead of having that pressure of forcing myself to stop, forever, I broke it down into manageable chunks.
So when I did relapse, I wouldn’t feel ashamed or guilty just motivated to start again. My episodes became less frequent, until I developed the coping strategies to keep them at bay.
Rewarding yourself helps too, after not doing it for so long.
Also reach out to support groups for people who self harm too; it really helps talking about it. I’m kind of telling myself all this whilst I’m telling you, and I’m proud that I’ve not done it in 4 months.
Don’t get me wrong, I get urges now and again but I think about how far I’ve come.
I'm also glad to hear from your reply to Gemma that you have some positive relief/comforts in surfing and your friends, but do appreciate that isn't always help when you need it. I'm going to post our Crisis Messenger service info for if you ever need it as it's 24/7 support (you can text THEMIX to 85258). But in the meantime we're all here to support you too.
I just wanted to quickly message to say I edited your post slightly in line with our community guidelines and removed some of the specific details about self harm. We have a few community guidelines we ask everyone to follow which you can read more about here but do get in touch with the team if you have any questions at all
✨ 𝒯ℋℐ𝒮 ℐ𝒮 ℳℰ ✨