I'm in a really weird place rn

yana

Idk how to explain this. I understand how I feel and why I feel that way and I know what I can do to feel better. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I don't feel hatred towards myself. I have good friends, good support. Family life is better than it has been in the past few years. I have so many exciting things to look forward to at the moment, I'm in a really good place.

But I feel so worthless and hopeless and confused. I feel like I'm in an exam and the answers are all in front of me but I just can't get myself to write them down, I physically can't and idk why. Everything was going so well, it's like I finally found the right direction to run in and everything made sense and I kept tripping on things but I was still running in the right direction but now I've hit a brick wall and there's no way past it. It just appeared. I feel like the way out of the darkness is right in front of me, yet I feel stuck, trapped.

genderless_fungi

Hello @Xee

From what you've been describing it feels to me like you might be burned out and overwhelmed, it's completely understandable and very common to have moments when everything feels like too much even though you might have the right kind of support and feel like you're in a good place. Taking care of oneself and trying to find one's path can be exhausting and, especially if the road has been as bumpy as you describe, it's understandable that you might feel too drained to take an extra step. It's important to give yourself some time to rest and recharge but in the meantime is there any way we could help you achieve what you want to do to feel better?

yana

@genderless_fungi Burnt out from what? I don't do anything, all I do is fight my own thoughts, like a never ending battle in my head. But in reality I'm not accomplishing anything. I'm failing. How can I be burnt out from doing absolutely nothing? It feels so stupid. And idk how to take time to rest and recharge, idk how that's meant to help. All I've been doing is 'resting' aka doing nothing, zoning out and staring at the wall for hours on end. I really feel stuck.

genderless_fungi

Hello @Xee

I understand what you mean when you say that in this moment you don't think that feeling stuck and overwhelmed is 'justified', however i think it's helpful to bear in mind that overthinking and struggling with your mental health is exhausting in and of itself, even if you've been 'doing nothing'. Feeling stuck and hopeless is not always jump started by any particular event, so it is not uncommon to feel completely drained even though, as you say, your life had been going so well and that doesn't mean that you're a failure. By resting and recharging I mean taking the time to process the situation and being kind to yourself.
Is there any particular thing you feel you should be accomplishing instead that's making you believe you are failing? and if so, is there any particular support you might need to get it accomplished? I'm not sure that it could help but if you do have something in mind we could try breaking it down in small steps first and try to get you some support.

Would you be able to talk to anyone about feeling stuck and zoning out? like a friend, family, or a professional?

JJLemon18

Xee wrote: »

@genderless_fungi Burnt out from what? I don't do anything, all I do is fight my own thoughts, like a never ending battle in my head. But in reality I'm not accomplishing anything. I'm failing. How can I be burnt out from doing absolutely nothing? It feels so stupid. And idk how to take time to rest and recharge, idk how that's meant to help. All I've been doing is 'resting' aka doing nothing, zoning out and staring at the wall for hours on end. I really feel stuck.

Ngl that is precisely what I told my therapist when she told me that I am probably 'burned out'. To which she told me something like "maybe spend a bit more time doing stuff you enjoy, for example playing a game" and I tell her that this is exactly what I've been doing most of the time, I'm worried that I'm doing it too often already. She kept avoiding most of this, just kept asking me questions like how do I feel when I'm studying or what things I enjoy doing the most etc. I feel like I learnt nothing from her that day.

So I know exactly what you mean.

RenP

@Xee I guess sometimes you can be in a place where there is no answer and there is no solution for this moment in time. I do agree with genderless fungi that dealing with our mental health is incredibly exhausting and sometimes we just need to give ourselves time and healing, being gentle with ourselves and allowing ourselves patience.

Can I ask, what is it that you feel like you are failing in? No pressure to share of course.

Can I also ask, if someone close to you came to you and said they were feeling this way, what would you say to them? Maybe it can help to gain some perspective.

Using your analogy of running, when you found the right direction to run in and everything made sense, what was it that made sense and what did that look like for you? And when you kept tripping on things but you were still running in the right direction, what was the difference between the little bumps and the brick wall that has made you come to a stand still? To delve deeper into that analogy, what is that brick wall, where did it come from, how does it make you feel, what does it look like in real life, what can you do to climb over that brick wall or smash it down etc. Don't feel pressured to share if you don't want to, even if these are just questions you ask yourself and sit with for a bit, or maybe do some creative writing surrounding it, or drawing it/your interpretation of it.

Take care and keep going Xee

Terry8936

@Xee
It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of internal conflict and confusion, despite having good things going on in your life. It's not uncommon for people to feel stuck and trapped, even when they have supportive people and exciting things to look forward to.

It's important to acknowledge that taking time to rest and recharge can be helpful in breaking through that barrier. Rest doesn't necessarily mean doing nothing, it can mean engaging in activities that bring you joy and allow you to recharge your energy, like getting enough sleep, eating well, and talking to someone about how you're feeling.

Talking to a therapist or counselor might also be helpful. They can provide you with tools and techniques to help manage your thoughts and emotions, and work on potential underlying issues. You're not alone in feeling this way.