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Moving on 🤷‍♂️

MentalSimpleMentalSimple Posts: 1 Literally just got here
Let’s talk about relationships and moving on, how it affected us all 😊

Comments

  • Tee ATee A Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    Hey @MentalSimple

    From my own experiences, I think a good way to move on from a romantic relationship is to keep busy! I'll try to go out with my friends a lot because then my mind is thinking, what should I wear? Should I wear make-up? Should I wear heels? I like to plan everything to a T! :lol:

    I defintely think I've learnt a lot about myself from past relationships. Of course the break-up has been sad, but then I realise I have uncovered what I don't want in a new relationship. Hopefully, I won't mke the same 'mistakes' again. 

    What do you do to move on? 
    honeyxx
  • Han93Han93 EnglandPosts: 309 The Mix Regular
    Hi @MentalSimple

    I think moving on from relationships is really different for each person. One particular thing that I found difficult when moving on from a cheating ex is that I didn't cut contact with him straight away and because of that it kept being on-and-off for a long time and it made me so miserable.

    Obviously it's different for different people but I think because of that experience one of my tips is if it ends badly and you need to get away from that relationship then there is nothing wrong with completely cutting that person out (i.e. blocking their number/social medias etc). I always felt too guilty to do that but I wasn't thinking about my own personal wellbeing and what still having him contacting me was doing to me mentally. I think it's really important when moving on to put yourself first and your needs, and not those of the person you are trying to move on to.


    Also, accepting that it takes time. It can feel really frustrating when you're still thinking about that person months after you've broken up and you feel ridiculous for letting it still bother you. But we have to remember that it's ok - breaking up and moving on is a grieving process - so if you need to cry, you cry! And keep talking to people about it and getting support from people.
    Tee A said:
    I defintely think I've learnt a lot about myself from past relationships. Of course the break-up has been sad, but then I realise I have uncovered what I don't want in a new relationship. Hopefully, I won't mke the same 'mistakes' again. 
    I also totally agree with this! I don't regret any of my past relationships because they've made me who I am today and I've learnt about my self-worth from them!
     
    honeyxx
  • honeyxxhoneyxx Posts: 65 Boards Initiate
    I've always struggled myself with break ups and found the pain unbearable. I give my whole heart in them and have genuine Hope's and when they fail I have a real tough time letting go and accepting the person for who they are. I've made excuses, I've let ppl walk over me and take advantage and hurt me over and over. I've been a mug and went around in circles believing lies and manipulation. I'm really vulnerable to manipulation and being sucked in but I have now learned now to have strong boundaries and to think of my needs first and what I want from a relationship and how i want to be treated just like someone else on here I dont regret anything cause they have made me the girl I am today I've learned so much and I'm now strong and independant💕
  • honeyxxhoneyxx Posts: 65 Boards Initiate
    I've made excuses for them*
  • TiredSquirrelTiredSquirrel Posts: 28 Boards Initiate
    Hi guys,

    I'm really struggling with being able to move on. It's been 6 months but 3 months in she came back to me and wanted to talk again. Long story short she ended it for good a month ago after changing her mind again.

    She was my first proper gf and first love so it's very diificult. I just feel like I'll never get over her and having mutual friends I fear we will have to see each other which will not help at all.
  • Tee ATee A Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    Hey @TiredSquirrel

    What you are going through sounds tough! Especially because you have mutual friends. 

    Everything gets better, with time. I know that sounds cliche but you will get over her soon :3

    Your situation sounds very similar to what happened to my friends. We were all friends so yes it was awkward when they broke up but we all became friends again, even the two that were in a relationship. Try not to worry about your mutual friends. It might be scary at first but at least then you've got it over and done with.  :3
    TiredSquirrel
  • BenMaBenMa Posts: 66 Boards Initiate
    Hey everyone.

    I've really struggled moving on from a relationship with my (now ex) boyfriend. It was mostly long distance and online, but I absolutely loved spending time with him, speaking with him and playing games with him. It was lovely and he was so supportive with my mental health. It's been 6 or 7 months now, and I still think of him multiple times weekly - how things could have been different, what I could of done different, and what things could've been like now.

    We're still 'friends' so to speak, but just extremely distant which is understandable. He's in a new relationship now, but I'd do anything to give it another go.  :s:'(

    Moving on is difficult! And everyone moves on at their own pace. Mine just happens to be quite slow, but I'm making progress!  :3

    I hope you're all doing great xo
    Children, after all, are not just adults-in-the-making. They are people whose current needs and rights and experiences must be taken seriously. – Alfie Kohn
    TiredSquirrel
  • TiredSquirrelTiredSquirrel Posts: 28 Boards Initiate
    > @"Tee A" said:
    > Hey @TiredSquirrel
    >
    > What you are going through sounds tough! Especially because you have mutual friends. 
    >
    > Everything gets better, with time. I know that sounds cliche but you will get over her soon :3
    >
    > Your situation sounds very similar to what happened to my friends. We were all friends so yes it was awkward when they broke up but we all became friends again, even the two that were in a relationship. Try not to worry about your mutual friends. It might be scary at first but at least then you've got it over and done with.  :3

    Yeah. Tbh its not that its awkward with the mutual friends. I'm sharing a flat with one of them next year anyway and the others are friends who don't really like her. The only thing is, I don't really want anything to do with her again. Not be friends anyway. I've realised that tbh I don't particularly benefit from being friends with her still. So its just that. I'll be ok once I get to university in September because there wont be the risk of seeing her.

    Thank you for your comment.
  • TiredSquirrelTiredSquirrel Posts: 28 Boards Initiate
    > @BenMa said:
    > Hey everyone.
    >
    > I've really struggled moving on from a relationship with my (now ex) boyfriend. It was mostly long distance and online, but I absolutely loved spending time with him, speaking with him and playing games with him. It was lovely and he was so supportive with my mental health. It's been 6 or 7 months now, and I still think of him multiple times weekly - how things could have been different, what I could of done different, and what things could've been like now.
    >
    > We're still 'friends' so to speak, but just extremely distant which is understandable. He's in a new relationship now, but I'd do anything to give it another go.  :s :'(
    >
    > Moving on is difficult! And everyone moves on at their own pace. Mine just happens to be quite slow, but I'm making progress!  :3
    >
    > I hope you're all doing great xo

    It sounds similar to my situation. It's been 6 months for me and I still miss her from time to time, but that has become less and I am sure it will for you in time. We all have our own 'life clocks' as I like to call them, so comparing to other people's time scales at doing things is no good. You stick to you and you will be moving on in no time. It will pass. I still think about my ex, but it is becoming less and less of an upsetting thing each day.

    Stay strong <3
    BenMa
  • Tee ATee A Posts: 123 The Mix Convert
    > @Tee A said:
    > Hey @TiredSquirrel
    >
    > What you are going through sounds tough! Especially because you have mutual friends. 
    >
    > Everything gets better, with time. I know that sounds cliche but you will get over her soon :3
    >
    > Your situation sounds very similar to what happened to my friends. We were all friends so yes it was awkward when they broke up but we all became friends again, even the two that were in a relationship. Try not to worry about your mutual friends. It might be scary at first but at least then you've got it over and done with.  :3

    Yeah. Tbh its not that its awkward with the mutual friends. I'm sharing a flat with one of them next year anyway and the others are friends who don't really like her. The only thing is, I don't really want anything to do with her again. Not be friends anyway. I've realised that tbh I don't particularly benefit from being friends with her still. So its just that. I'll be ok once I get to university in September because there wont be the risk of seeing her.

    Thank you for your comment.
    Hey,

    Oh I see what you mean now! Sounds like you're ready for a fresh start. 

    University is great because you'll have so much freedom! I hope you enjoy it and move on from this  :)
  • JayJJayJ Posts: 21 Boards Initiate
    Hi!

    Relationships can be tough stuff - especially when they don't work out. I've found from my own experience that the most healthy way to move on is to focus on yourself and the good the relationship did you/ the good you did yourself by leaving.

    I think every relationship and break up helps you to learn things about yourself. And I really believe that it's through heartbreak that we learn how to love properly - we make all the mistakes, experience all the wrongs and sadness, so when the right person comes along, we can love them perfectly.

    Keep your chin up guys, it gets better <3
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