Home› Winter Wonderland ❄️› The subforum of Christmas Past
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

Please help. ******TRIGGER WARNING****** weight related.

SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
edited December 2018 in The subforum of Christmas Past
I have no idea if this sort is allowed on here. I am so sorry if not allowed. I dont see what rules it breaks tho so think is fine 😊

I am super stressed i need to lose weight over christmas. I have gained A LOTTT of weight in about 2 months because my family now eat at the table which makes it a lot harder to hide food up my sleeve than when we didnt eat at table. & they give massive protions that are not normal or healthy. Its making me stressed and rather hide my food so dont have to eat it all. My bmi does currently say underweight. But BMI is not accurate. my hands feel like they are very fat and fat goes to everywhere esp hands. And my legs are chubby.. And i just have so much fat everywhere 😭😭 - but apart from my stomach is quite small.

I engage in horrible behaviours to lose weight & sometimes keeps me up late. . I am tired. I am really fed up & suicidal and so fed up of feeling ashamed to feel cant speak about it this. Is shameful & i am immature. But pls help  it hurts so bad  😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Apperently my eyes lie to me. -Please help with being very honest. Because i dont want to end up with diabetes or heart problems along with how shit i feel. 

[edited by moderator on request]
“And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
Post edited by JustV on

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    edited December 2018
    Hey Shaunie,

    Firstly well done for posting we are here for you :heart:

    Sorry to hear how your feeling. Do you have any support in place? Anyone you can talk to about how your feeling?

    It's not shameful to feel like how you are feeling, and your not immature, how you are feeling is valid, don't ever feel like you shouldn't talk about how your feeling *hugs*

    https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/ < This website has some good information that may be helpful to you, 

    Hope this has helped a bit, 

    We care about you

    :heart: 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    My hands are so fat😭
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Hey Shaunie,

    I know it's hard, but from what I've seen of you on here you're such a lovely person. 

    Do you think you would feel able to talk to somebody about how your feeling? :heart:

    Keep posting we are here for you ALWAYS 


  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you @*Bananamonkey*

    i dont have anyone to speak to about how i feel about this - apart from here. But forget about beat. Thanks. 

    I am getting fat tho? Half my brain is like ew disgusting skinny then im like ew fat everywhere. My hands are swollen tho and idk i told my doctor and they said it wasnt but are fat & swollen and i think thats how all the rest of my body will be very soon. My legs are getting near on overweight aswell and slowly i will be adding to the statstics of Over 50% of population are overweight or obese. 
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    No worries, always about if you do want to chat about things :heart:

    It sounds like you could do with some support with your feeling. This is going to sound really cliche but it's not always about what is on the outside,it is also about the person you are, you seem like a really lovely person to me, who is going through a difficult stage. 

    With the right support things may get easier for you :heart:

    I have never told anyone this, but I have always disliked the way I look, I always want to lose weight but I just can't do it, and then I think to myself yeah I may not be slim, like how other people are, and yes I want to be healthier, and I know I can be healthier, I am starting to make more good choices, I think it's about becoming healthy, not losing weight as such ( okay, that sounded way better in my head )

    I guess what I am really trying to say is I think your amazing and you are so lovely 





  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited December 2018
    POTM

    but youre very right. Thank you.

     I agree about it being about the person not what they look like. But i guess thats the hard thing about eating disorder is - it actually feels like it from the inside too. Not just my apperance. How i feel is disgusting and dirty as a person from things ive done and i dont want to make myself disgusting by keep binge eating and have fat everywhere. And to me i like to feel clean and an empty stomach and to feel fresher and i dont mean any of that to offend anyone. Because it is weird at how sometimes i wish i was fatter but could still get the same feeling my ED brings me of feeling “empty” and “clean” and less “disgusting”. Even tho sometimes i know i aint actually disgusting or done disgusting things that i wanted to do. But i don’t know what is wrong with my head

    I dunno if that makes sense to someone else ha
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Aw you don't need to dominate me for POTM, I am just trying to help :heart:

    Sorry to hear how your feeling, it does make sense and I do understand. 

    I know I linked to Beat before, but they have helplines and things would you feel able to open up to them about how your feeling?

    I think they have a webchat too.

    Your thoughts and feelings are valid to you, and I am sorry to hear what your going through. 

    Sending hugs first class to you.. 

    I know how difficult it is to battle with something. 



  • Former MemberFormer Member Fruit loop Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Really sorry to hear this Shaunie.

    It sounds a lot like this is working like an intrusive thought?  You mention half your brain is saying you're fat, and you seem to focus on statistics, do these thoughts feel like they're shouting at you and are inescapable? 

    Eating disorders are very tricky to deal with and I'm in no way saying its just thoughts but this article really helped a friend of mine who is also struggling: https://www.bustle.com/p/how-to-actually-deal-with-intrusive-thoughts-according-to-experts-8800188

    You can get that empty and clean feeling even while a healthy weight and eating. 
    It's about the right foods. 

    Heavy carbs and things like cheese often make us feel bleh and heavy, I do right now. 
    But wholewheat carbs,  and eating little and often and such really helps. 

    That "big full, fat feeling" is often bloating,  and when we drink too much water or eat loads of carbs our stomach gets temporarily bigger. Here's an article on foods that don't bloat: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/13-foods-that-cause-bloating 

    I'm on a detox right now and feeling pretty great becauae I felt really bloated lately.


    Remember we're all here for you 💕
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    hey Shaunie,

    How are you feeling today? :heart: 
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,681 Skive's The Limit
    edited September 18
    Thank you so much @*bananamonkey* and @Past User . I have been doing a lot to try to push back these thoughts and have eaten well in the morning :) i just used Beats online live chat too and feel okay. I will definetly look at those links @Past User. Thank you:)

    <3
    Post edited by TheMix on
    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Former MemberFormer Member Lyrical Poster Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Glad your feeling okay, sounds positive to hear that you've contacted "beat"s online chat, :heart:
Sign In or Register to comment.