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can't cope for much longer (potential triggers)
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So I thought that I had dealt with things from my past but long story short 2017 has been shit....
I thought my career was on track and was loving it but in the past my health hasn't been the best. I have had a stroke and been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease but they were okay and things were getting there again.
I work in the ambulance service so it was so bad when an ambulance had to be called for me as my body went into complete meltdown and then I was in hospital for 5 weeks, couldn't work and had to move back home with my parents (I am 24 and had moved out).
On top of this I am still signed off work and have had to for the first time buy my own wheelchair to use at times to conserve my energy. There is so much going on for me to get my head round and cope with that it is causing me to not be able to cope.
I also broke up with my girlfriend and keep getting flashbacks from my past when I was abused and raped. My life feels like it is one thing after another and that I deserve to feel like this but I can't keep feeling like this.
I don't know what to do as I don't want to go back to self harming but can't see a way out of this cycle. I have already been to my GP and am still on antidepressants but they don't seem to be doing anything.
I feel awful complaining but everyone around me see's me as this super strong person who can cope with anything but on the inside there is nothing left
I thought my career was on track and was loving it but in the past my health hasn't been the best. I have had a stroke and been diagnosed with an autoimmune disease but they were okay and things were getting there again.
I work in the ambulance service so it was so bad when an ambulance had to be called for me as my body went into complete meltdown and then I was in hospital for 5 weeks, couldn't work and had to move back home with my parents (I am 24 and had moved out).
On top of this I am still signed off work and have had to for the first time buy my own wheelchair to use at times to conserve my energy. There is so much going on for me to get my head round and cope with that it is causing me to not be able to cope.
I also broke up with my girlfriend and keep getting flashbacks from my past when I was abused and raped. My life feels like it is one thing after another and that I deserve to feel like this but I can't keep feeling like this.
I don't know what to do as I don't want to go back to self harming but can't see a way out of this cycle. I have already been to my GP and am still on antidepressants but they don't seem to be doing anything.
I feel awful complaining but everyone around me see's me as this super strong person who can cope with anything but on the inside there is nothing left
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Comments
I know that recovering from a stroke can be long, hard and somewhat annoying, I had a minor one around 7 months ago which caused me to loose my speech; This still affects me now in certain situations. Do you feel that's one of the reasons your low on energy or have I read wrong ? (possible)
Don't feel hard on yourself for moving back in with your parents though, I understand it feels great to be living on your own, but if you are having troubles sometimes its for the best.
Regarding the antiDepressants, would you be able to talk to your GP to try and get the best dosage or type to work better for you? It can take some time to get the right medication and dosage.
One thing I would like to say, don't feel bad for making a post here, we're here to help where we can, we all need a place to vent, where it be to peers, online, professionals, it doesn't matter as long as it makes you feel better, getting help for the problems is also a plus
I would like to apologise in advance if I have miss read anything and I would also like to say I'm not a Doctor.
Thank you for replying. Sorry to hear about your minor stroke. Mine was 4 years ago and I was in hospital for 6 months as was initially completely paralysed down my left side and came so suddenly when I was due to start a new course at uni. Between that and my autoimmune disease I do suffer with fatigue which really doesn't help with having energy.
I feel embarrassed to say that i am 24 and living back home as I had so much independence before.
I am going back to my GP but I am already on a really high dose but will talk to her.
The thing I am struggling with the most is how much my life has changed and all the change is bringing back memories and flashbacks from my past. Essentially my life feels like it is such a mess and I don't know how to get out of it