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BillieTheBot
Posts: 280 Bot
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Post edited by Leyla on
1
Comments
This situation sounds like a tough one. Being told what happened after the whole situation happened can make it really difficult to feel like you can make an informed judgement and decision on what to do next. So it is completely understandable you feel so unsure about the situation.
I understand you are asking for peoples thoughts about what happened, and so this might not be want you want to hear, but the most important thing I'd say is that you make the decision that feels most right for you. Really consider whether you think you can work through this situation as a couple and maintain a healthy relationship.
It sounds like you still really care about you're boyfriend and that you believe he had no intention of pursuing this romantic advancement and that you're boyfriend probably found the whole social situation difficult due to his tendency to people please and get social anxious. However you are also completely valid to be very upset and tell him that you are over in this situation. Having someone who you care about and have a relationship with, romantically engage with someone else can make you question the trust and love in the relationship.
It also sounds as though you are still really unsure about what to do, it might help to sit down with your boyfriend and discuss everything that went down so you have a complete picture of the evening. This might help you make a more informed decision.
You could also talk about how what he did really hurt you and that is important to you that he can de-escalate these advances in the future. I now you mentioned he has a difficult time wanting to please those around him and that he easily gets anxious in social settings, so maybe you could work together and come up with phrases or ways he can turn down these advances in ways that won't cause a big scene that he can use if this is to happen again.
You also mention wanting to talk to your sister about how you're feeling now that you've been able to process the situation. It can be helpful to talk through these confusing situations and have those close to us support us through uncertain times. I'd just suggest make sure you remember that the best decision to make is the decision that you feel is the right and most healthy decision for you.