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1 yr today without my mum 💔
eylah
Community Connector Posts: 9,522 Supreme Poster
im sry for writing this and posting it but i rly need to let everything out. i’ve been struggling since the time i woke up bc it’s 1 yr without my mum. i know some of my friends have told me that i should ‘be over it’ or ‘gotten over it’ but i can’t get over the fact that my mum is never coming back. i have lost everyone in my life . i don’t have any family close by bc of reasons in the past to do with my dad etc i don’t have contact with him bc of stuff that happened but i just feel so alone. im rly hurting and i have tried occupying my brain today by going to the range etc going to the beach but nothing has worked. i feel numb i feel so many emotions and things all at once my brain and body hurt. i want to remember my mum without feeling sad every time. 
. it’s so heartbreaking bc i wish my bf was here to comfort me but he’s away today so i am sat in my flat alone crying. i feel pain and hurt but this is a lot deeper and stronger. it’s so hard and once again im sry for posting this. i just rly miss her . she was my best friend my everything and that her mental health and alcohol took her away from me. it’s so not fair never will be. i miss you mum. im going to try cooking some dinner later and try sleep .
. it’s so heartbreaking bc i wish my bf was here to comfort me but he’s away today so i am sat in my flat alone crying. i feel pain and hurt but this is a lot deeper and stronger. it’s so hard and once again im sry for posting this. i just rly miss her . she was my best friend my everything and that her mental health and alcohol took her away from me. it’s so not fair never will be. i miss you mum. im going to try cooking some dinner later and try sleep . ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
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Comments
@eylah you definitely don't need to be sorry or over anything, please please ignore your friends who said that. Your feelings are absolutely valid, you're also absolutely welcome to share as much as you need here. Your feelings are absolutely valid like I say she'd be so so proud of you. Im so sorry you have no one round atm but we are definitely here 24/7 anytime. You're such an incredible person and never a need to be sorry for posting this , we value and care about you. Just like your mum would be, we are all so so proud of you.
@eylah there is no such thing as "being over it" or "getting over it". Whoever said that is a walking talking baboon. How you feel, that pain, that is all valid. Having no close family must be painful on top of all of this. Like redemption said, you never have to say sorry for feeling how you are, and for reaching out and opening up about this. We are all incredibly proud of you. You shouldn't have to be alone, and i'm sorry you have nobody with you right now. We're always here on the mix for you as little consolation as that is. I'm proud of you for making it through today.
I’m so sorry people have said you should be ‘over it’- that’s such a horrible insensitive thing to say. It’s completely valid (and normal!) to grieve for a long time, and especially to struggle on anniversaries. I’m so proud of you for getting through this past year.
big hugs and sorry I’m late replying
Just wanted to say as well that it is completely okay to be grieving the way you are - your feelings are 100% valid. Losing someone so important to you isnt something you 'get over' so those friends in my view are out of line for saying what they did. It doesn't matter is its been 1 year, 10 years or 100 years, the pain of losing your parent doesn't just magically disappear. There will be times such as anniversaries where it is harder - and thats completely understandable. It shows the depth of your love for your mum, and I just know she'd be so so proud of the amazing person you are.
Sending you the biggest of hugs ever