[TW self harm mentions] i just need advice on if i'm in the wrong

slovie · July 14

for context, i'm a teenager who harms myself. my parents recently found my scars, and they're trying to get me professional help for both my SH and my depression. for now, they've taken away the things i SH with, privacy (my door has to be open at all times), my computer, and my phone. i just feel so lost and helpless, especially since my only healthy coping mechanisms (listening to music, playing games, chatting with friends) are gone. they also forbid me from talking to my 3 closest friends who also SH until I get better. i only have a school chromebook with me, which is why I have access to this forum

i just feel so angry and hurt; my parents both say that this isn't a punishment because they're protecting me and they think it's for the better, but I can't help but feel like i've gotten worse. i feel so much more anxious and depressed, and i'm only 2 days in. I feel angry at them because this still feels like a punishment, I feel so isolated and i've just resorted to mental self harm instead. I've talked to them about this, but nothing about me being grounded has changed. my family has tried to offer to go out, watch movies, ect. but I don't have the energy to do so

am i a bad daughter for being angry? I explained this to my mom, but she only said that it's not fair to them and that talking with my 3 best friends will only tempt me more to harm myself. i feel like i'm in the wrong here, but i can't help my frustration. what should i do

AnonymousToe · July 14

You’re not ‘in the wrong’ and you don’t deserve to be punished for struggling. I can sort of see it from both sides. I don’t think your parents are intending to punish you, but to keep you safe in the only ways they know how. But I don’t think they’ve gone about it in the best way because now you’re left feeling even worse, and probably misunderstood too. You’re allowed to be angry / upset etc.

Is there any way your parents can become more educated on how to support you better? I don’t think their intention is to make things worse, they’re probably just at a loss for what to do. But that’s not your fault, and you shouldn’t have to feel bad about it. You’re allowed to struggle and it’s their job to help you. Maybe after a little bit they’ll see that you’re gonna be ok and give you some freedom back. I’m not really sure. Maybe try going out with them if you feel up to it. It might make you feel better and at least could improve your relationship with them.

Hope you’re ok

slovie · July 14

they've explained their perspective, which is what you said: this is entirely new to them and this is the only way they know how to protect me. they're also getting help because they realized how they've been emotionally "not there" for me, which is good

i've sent a couple sources to my mum on how to deal with your child harming themselves since they have been relying on one parenting website for advice. it doesn't have ANYTHING on self harm, only addictions like alcohol and drugs, which says a lot

i'm going to a pediatrician tomorrow to discuss what i need and to get professional help, but i doubt they're paid to tell my parents that i'm upset about this LOL. i don't know if i can even bring this whole thing up to the pediatrician because that's technically not their job to give emotional advice. i'm 99% sure i'll be able to get some freedom back when i get better/get a therapist, but who knows how long that'll take

i honestly don't know if i can take this much longer. i truly want to go out with my family to occupy my time (which i've already done) but once i'm home, it's like everything hits me again. it's been 3 days since i'm grounded and i'm currently not doing so well

edit: oops i forgot to mention @AnonymousToe LMAO

[TW self harm mentions] i just need advice on if i'm in the wrong

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