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(TW suicidal thoughts) I don’t feel like I have control of my life
bignosegirly0
Posts: 281 The Mix Regular
I’ve been crying non stop for the past few days, and even my family would notice it.
I feel as if I have no control over my life. Generally speaking, I’m often depressed about the fact that I won’t find love due to my looks, based on many negative experiences of men mistreating me for my appearance. Obviously that makes me really depressed and makes me want to kill myself. But I thought that maybe if I work hard for a good career, I’ll be able to fill the void.
The universe was like “nope, go fuck yourself” i do have a current job. But it’s one with very little shifts and I hate the people I work with, because it’s mostly men who won’t see you as a person unless you’re attractive to them. It does affect my mental health badly, and I’ve been trying since last summer to get a new job. But I just keep receiving rejection after rejection.
Even when my francisse advised me to try the AXA health counselling system, they don’t even fucking respond. They don’t show up to your sessions. They don’t respond to your messages. They don’t respond to your emails. It feels like a total kick in the dick.
I’m convinced that the universe is giving me signs that I should kill myself.
I feel as if I have no control over my life. Generally speaking, I’m often depressed about the fact that I won’t find love due to my looks, based on many negative experiences of men mistreating me for my appearance. Obviously that makes me really depressed and makes me want to kill myself. But I thought that maybe if I work hard for a good career, I’ll be able to fill the void.
The universe was like “nope, go fuck yourself” i do have a current job. But it’s one with very little shifts and I hate the people I work with, because it’s mostly men who won’t see you as a person unless you’re attractive to them. It does affect my mental health badly, and I’ve been trying since last summer to get a new job. But I just keep receiving rejection after rejection.
Even when my francisse advised me to try the AXA health counselling system, they don’t even fucking respond. They don’t show up to your sessions. They don’t respond to your messages. They don’t respond to your emails. It feels like a total kick in the dick.
I’m convinced that the universe is giving me signs that I should kill myself.
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Comments
hopefully you are able to find a new job soon and be in a more supportive and positive working environment that makes you feel better, and get the counselling/support you need. because you deserve to be happy and you deserve to be here. you are an important person and are loved. i know it can be hard but please don't lose hope.
sending you the biggest of hugs