what is the real me

a couple days ago i went to a dance it was my first dance; my oldest sister C didn't go so it was just me and M my other older sister whom I'm close with and is my best friend. but even her i don't tell a bunch of things about myself. anyway i had a bunch of fun at the dance and was so happy. after the dance i was telling C about one of the boys i danced with and she said i should have asked for his snapchat for her and i immediately just felt so downcast and hated myself for having danced with him and enjoying dancing with him. then yesterday she insulted my friend and some other things that was insulting to me and i felt so cold and numb, and today i felt so depressed and was thinking about how i am around my friends, how happy i usually am, and compared that to how i am at home usually.

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Comments

Azziman

Hey @Hexgates, I'm sorry that you haven't received a reply yet. Thank you for sharing your experience with us here, I can understand it's not always to talk about what we go through. It sounds like you had a really fun time at the dance! I can hear how you're feeling down after the interaction with your sister though. Being insulted isn't nice. What do you think it was about what your sister said that made you hate yourself for enjoying the dance with one of the boys?

It can make sense for us to feel different emotions based on our environment - we can elicit different moods based on whether we feel comfortable and safe, and the type of company we have in that space. What do you think it is about being at home that makes you feel worse compared to being happy when you're out with friends? We're here to listen to you