its my first birthday without my mum on thursday and im rly struggling bc of it. i wish i wasnt alone for my birthday bc id have mum but i dont i have noone. im struggling so much to comes to terms knowing im still alive knowing i thought i wouldnt be? its so shit bc i have tried the last year to do so much for myself but it hasnt happened. i wanted to get back into college but thats failed i was trying to not sh but thats failed its just like a whole year wasted. i miss mum so much but idk how im supposed to cope
. being alone is gonna be so hard it rly is i wish mum was here but she isnt i had everything planned with mum but now its not happening bc she’s above. i feel so sad. 💔 im rly broken i rly am why does this have to come around? i wish it wasnt my birthday bc i have so much going on in my life idk how i am gonna cope. im gonna be in pieces that noone will care that its my 19th birthday ( family ) nor even wish me a happy birthday. i wish i could go back to last year where i celebrated my 18th with my whole family including mum bearing in mind her circumstances and now this year im broken im a failure and i have noone. im sounding so stupid rn bc idk but its breaking my heart it rly is bc i wish i had ppl to celebrate with or had ppl who cared abt me enough to even bother but i dont. i am trying my best i rly am but knowing its my first birthday without my best friend my mum its hurting my heart. i wish things was different like last year why? just why i know why but its the big question why my mum? bc if it wasnt her then she would still be to celebrate my birthday Christmas etc. so im a mess i rly am i hate everything 💔
