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TW// Greif

Rose113Rose113 Community Champion Posts: 1,089 Wise Owl
in Health & Wellbeing
There gone 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 there actually gone 😭

I'm such a shitty friend for not trying harder to help them 😭

I tried so hard to stop them from taking there life yet it wasn't good enough, I'm so so so so stupid. I should of just gone to there house to help them be safe 😭😭😭
✨ Just a stupid worthless freak ready to give up ✨

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    AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,035 Boards Guru
    edited April 8
    I'm so sorry to hear about your friend passing away, this is really really sad and I'm sending lots of love and strength your way @River.

    Losing someone to suicide is incredibly painful, and I can't imagine how much you're hurting right now. It sounds so hard having those 'what if' thoughts of wanting to have tried harder or go to their house, but please don't blame yourself for what happened because it wasn't your fault in any way. Suicide is very complicated and there are often a lot of things that play a part in why it happens. It's not your fault and you're not a bad friend <3

    Please be kind to yourself as you're going through this difficult time River. If you need someone to talk to, we're all here for you.

    There's also some great organisations out there offering support to anyone who has lost someone to suicide:
    The Support After Suicide Partnership provides support to individuals who have been bereaved by suicide. They offer guidance on what you can do if you are a friend, family member, sibling or even a witness of someone who has ended their life by suicide. They can also support you in supporting someone else as well as putting you in touch with a local service near you.

    Winston's Wish is a UK-wide national helpline offering support, information, and guidance to young people who have been bereaved. They are open from Monday to Friday 8am - 8pm. Their helpline is 08088 020 021. You can also visit their website and send them a message from there. They also have a message board for young people on their website.

    Keep us updated with how you're feeling, we're all here for you <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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    Rose113Rose113 Community Champion Posts: 1,089 Wise Owl
    @Aife it is my fault, if I tried harder they might still be here :s
    ✨ Just a stupid worthless freak ready to give up ✨
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    amy02amy02 Moderator Posts: 124 The Mix Convert
    Hi @River I'm so so sorry to hear about your friend, I can't imagine how painful and difficult this must be for you. We are all here for support and I'm sending a big virtual hug right now <3

    Just echoing what Aife has written - suicide is an extremely difficult and complex thing, and it is not your fault (or any one person's fault) that it happened. So many intertwining things/events are out of our control and impossible to predict. Feelings of 'what if' can be so hard to deal with, but remember you are not to blame and are not a bad friend.

    Remember we are here for you to talk any time throughout this, and the above bereavement support could be helpful too. This is such a difficult thing to go through and it is so important to be kind to yourself <3
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    lunarcat522lunarcat522 Posts: 426 Listening Ear
    So sorry for your loss @River , you're not a bad friend at all, you clearly cared a lot about them, and like you said you tried your best to help them. Unfortunately some things are out with our control no matter how hard we try or care about someone else, so please try not to blame yourself <3

    Have you got any coping strategies in place or any support in place to help you through the grieving process?

    You're very brave for reaching out and we're always here for support whenever you need

    I know it's hard but try to show yourself some kindness and compassion <3

    If you're wanting more specific support I've added some links to some organisations that support individuals bereaved from a death by suicide:

    Suicide&Co - provides a helpline and counselling support (England/Wales): https://suicideandco.org/

    Facing the Future - provides a safe space to talk about the impact suicide has had on you in the form of online support groups where you can talk to those who have gone through similar experiences:
    https://facingthefuturegroups.org/
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