I'm not doing good

JJLemon18 · October 2023

Every time I tell myself that things can't get any worse, they fucking get worse. My dad ended up in hospital yesterday from a serious accident at work. And from my mum's reaction and what she said (cause she visited him and I havent cause I'm ill), I am absolutely terrified and devastated. Everything keeps getting worse and worse, I don't know what to do. All of this is making me feel sick and lightheaded.

I made a huge post venting about everything, but I wrote it yesterday at 4am (I didn't sleep btw) and the more and more I reread it, the more I don't want to post it. Its bad, like real bad. I'm not sure what to do, cause posting it feels like the wrong thing, like it feels too personal and like just 'too much' to post on the Internet for everyone to see. Plus I don't see what help it could do beside just being a 'vent' from me. I just don't know what else I can do. I feel totally lost and given up.

JJLemon18 · October 2023

Mum has been crying and shaking nonstop. This is just too much. I seriously don't know what to do

Jimette · October 2023

The f***ing life does hit me sometimes. My paternal grandmother died three months ago, I have some backlog, and recently I found out that I wasn't going out as much as I used to do.

How do I combat all this s**t T_T

lunarcat522 · October 2023

@JJLemon18 So sorry about your dad, it sounds like an awful situation for everyone. Do you have anyone to talk to, as it sounds like you have a lot on your plate

JJLemon18 · October 2023

lunarcat522 wrote: »

@JJLemon18 So sorry about your dad, it sounds like an awful situation for everyone. Do you have anyone to talk to, as it sounds like you have a lot on your plate

Sorry I took so long to reply. I have so much spare time but I find it so hard to even come on here to reply. I can't be motivated with everything, all I feel like doing is lying on the sofa and playing videogames. Its so sad.

And no, I don't really have anyone to talk to

(beside this community). I have opened up to my 'friends' about this and they all read my message and have not replied, though one of them did eventually reply later saying he's sorry to hear that, and that if I need anything I can ask them. Nothing else. (I'm guessing they don't know you can check who has read your messages on a whatsapp group chat, so they were all waiting to see who speaks first lol). It just hurts. I wish I could meet one person who actually cares...

JustV · October 2023

Just wanted to say @JJLemon18 that what you've written in your other post probably isn't 'too much' - there isn't really such a thing here as long as it's within guidelines. Obviously completely up to you whether you want to share it, but it's important to speak unfiltered sometimes, and don't underestimate the value of having that vent, even if it doesn't lead to material change.

Azziman · October 2023

Hey @JJLemon18, you're seen and heard. It sounds like you're going through a difficult time at the moment, but well done for being brave and sharing your experience on here

I'm sorry to hear that your friends didn't respond when you needed them, I can hear how that hurt you, because you want to be heard. And you deserve to be heard, because your feelings do matter, and you matter

Take things one day at a time, and remember we're here to support you through this. You're not alone

JJLemon18 · October 2023

My dad finally came back home today, he looks rough. Just looking at him is making me feel sick. I can't believe that's him. It doesn't feel real. It's almost like I'm watching a movie or something, he genuinely looks worse than a lot of injured characters in movies do.

I will probably post that vent a bit later. Although so much time has now passed that it feels almost meaningless. But whatever.

Amy22 · October 2023

Hi @JJLemon18 I bet that is super tough for you at the moment what not with feeling like things are getting worse especially as your dad was in hospital too. Im sorry to hear that things are difficult for you at the moment. As someone who also had a dad in hospital the year before I know how daunting it can be especially when they come home and look worse than normal.

Also I get you about oversharing things and venting as oversharing can cause us to feel tired and feel weird too about ourselves. Though as @JustV mentioned sometimes having a 'unfiltered' view and vent can be a good healthy way of offloading things on our minds. Always feel welcome to vent on here as much as you want to, even it is just a few words or long, we are here for you. I think its good that you can vent on here too and express your feelings. Always here if you feel comfortable talking more about things

Sending hugs,

Amy22

sputnik · October 2023

Hey @JJLemon18 ,

I'm so sorry this sounds so frightening and disturbing for you, how are you doing now? I hope your dad is doing OK, and that things are calming down now. Sounds like you didn't have much support during this crisis, that must have been really hard. I'm not surprised you're struggling seeing your dad again, it's really weird and scary seeing people we love in a vulnerable/injured state. Go for it if you need to vent here

This kind of situation creates all kinds of feelings, and/or numbness, dissociation etc. Be gentle with yourself and remember you're doing really well

Am thinking of you!

JJLemon18 · October 2023

@Amy22 Thank you. I just wanted to mention that at this point, that vent is far from 'unfiltered' anymore. I kept changing it, adding and taking stuff away. And I'm still not happy with it. I'm just strange like that.

@sputnik Thank you. I'm feeling meh, quite a bit dissociated I think. It's hard to tell what's real and what isn't. All of this just feels strange.

Terry8936 · October 2023

@JJLemon18 I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. It's entirely understandable to feel overwhelmed in situations like this. Please know that you're not alone, and there are people who care about your well-being.

If you're hesitant about sharing a post online, that's perfectly okay. You should only share what you feel comfortable with. If you have close friends or family you trust, consider confiding in them. Sometimes talking to someone you trust can be incredibly relieving and provide emotional support.

Additionally, reaching out to a mental health professional or counselor can offer guidance and strategies for coping during these difficult times. They can help you navigate the overwhelming emotions you're experiencing.

It's important to take care of your mental and physical health, especially in challenging situations. If you're feeling lightheaded or physically unwell, it's essential to consult with a healthcare provider.

Remember, tough times can eventually subside, and support from others can make a significant difference. Don't hesitate to reach out to those who care about you or to seek professional help when needed. Your well-being matters.

Amy22 · October 2023

JJLemon18 wrote: »

@Amy22 Thank you. I just wanted to mention that at this point, that vent is far from 'unfiltered' anymore. I kept changing it, adding and taking stuff away. And I'm still not happy with it. I'm just strange like that.

@sputnik Thank you. I'm feeling meh, quite a bit dissociated I think. It's hard to tell what's real and what isn't. All of this just feels strange.

I guess that is also okay as you can edit and change as much as you need to really with a vent. I tend to do the same sometimes. I don't think your strange for having to edit your vents

ebyrne556 · October 2023

Heya @JJLemon18 Just checking in to see how things have been more recently for you.Sending hugs

I'm not doing good

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