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extremley confused about my current situation (TW)
IainJammyboy
Posts: 941 Part of The Mix Family
I' been hearing these extremley distressing voices over the past 6 months that i have talked about before, but i was looking at notes i had wrote down in the past 4 weeks and have been having really bad episodes of voices screaming in my ear to off myself and i could hear banging on the door, but i have no recollection of any of these episodes at all. as much as i fight back and no matter how much i disagree with the thoughts they push into my head, i've lost control once a couple weeks ago where i felt i wasnt in control of my own body, and ended up attempting suicide and i'm just terrified its going to get worse - i just dont want to lose control again. also the fact ive found people i know like to talk about 'the voices' in a quirky funny way, and even people who self diagnose themselves with real and made up disorders, i just feel like im not worthy of any help but im just really scared of it getting worse. the voices have been getting much worse in the past month, but im planning to get private healthcare in a few weeks. sorry if this doesn't belong here, im just really scared if i were to phone any mental health charities they would send me to a hospital - i understand why they would want to do that, but i just feel i need to chat about it.
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Again, you've taken the first step by speaking here which I'm glad you have. 🙂
How are you doing today? We care about you
You've shared that you've had these voices for the last 6 months but that recently they have been getting worse. These episodes that you mention sound really scary and it sounds like it has been more and more difficult for you to fight back against what the voices are telling you.
You mention that you really don't want to lose control again. Is there anything that helps you take the power back from/say no to the voices? I wondered if you had any safety strategies or blocking strategies that could help?
I hear there's a part of you that's really scared it will get worse, and so I sense that getting better is something you want to hold on to and that's important. How are you feeling about getting private healthcare in a few weeks?
You mention that you're nervous about calling mental health services, but there are organisations who can specifically help with hearing voices. Some organisations & resources that might be useful include:
Hopefully these might make you feel less alone. We really appreciate your trust in sharing your experiences with us
There are different types of support available, and a mental health professional can help you figure out what kind of support is best for your situation. Additionally, reaching out to a trusted friend or family member and letting them know what you are going through might be helpful. Remember, you deserve help and support, and it is brave to reach out for it. Please take care of yourself and seek help sooner.
As @Terry8936 has said, it's so understandable to feel overwhelmed and stuck about what to do. How are you feeling about getting some help via private healthcare soon?
Remember that we are here for you, and there are organisations and support services, like those I shared above, that can provide you with support with hearing voices.
We care about you
Please only share whatever you feel comfortable sharing on here. It is so brave of you to share even a snippet of the really tough things you're going through.
I am so so pleased to hear that you have this brilliant news! Although, it is really difficult to hear that these assumptions and admin errors meant that you haven't felt listened to or understood with the psychiatric team.
It's amazing that you feel so positively about going forward now with your appointment next Monday to get you on the right treatment. I share your excitement in this - you deserve the right help and support and it's fantastic that it sounds like you're on track to getting this now
What kind of support do you have around you, in family or friends?
Well done for continuing to advocate for yourself. It's no easy thing and it's so brave of you to continue sharing your story with us