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Hiya
IainJammyboy
Posts: 933 Part of The Mix Family
I'm Ian, have had quite alot going on the past 5 months. I thought I would give it a shot to chat to people around my age here as I never really have a chance to do that in person - only medical professionals. I've attempted suicide a few weeks - more as a cry for help to be honest. I regularly have to put up with these really bad mood swings daily, in which it will feel like I'm going crazy and occasionally hear voices. I just thought I would mention I'm not looking for any sort of diagnosis or help around this (I've been trying for so long but have gotten nowhere), I just thought it would be a nice place to at least chat about this rather than a hospital or a psychiatric ward. Outside of all this stuff though I do really enjoy playing violin of which I've played for about 8 years now, and I can't get enough of my sports - been doing it all my life. Nice to be able to chat to people around my age though 🙂
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It's awesome that you enjoy playing the violin! Any sports you like in particular?
Remember to take care of yourself!
Judo sounds awesome!
Do you have any effective coping strategies that you could use to improve your mood once it gets really low?
Thank you for sharing what you've been going through with us. It sounds like you have had a really difficult few months and so it is super brave of you to reach out to the community for some support and to continue advocating for yourself with your GP and community mental health team. I'm sorry to hear that you haven't always had the best experiences with these services. You are so deserving of support.
I hear your frustrations around feeling stuck with being unable to receive the help you need. You mentioned that your GP/cmht have told you that what you're going through is 'just anxiety' which sounds like this doesn't resonate with you or accurately reflects your experiences. Am I right in thinking that you feel they haven't truly understood what you're struggling with and this is affecting the support you're offered?
It's so lovely to hear that you still enjoy playing the violin and judo. I tried the violin at school but was no good - ended up sticking with piano! What kinds of things do you play? I actually did judo for quite a while too. It was great fun
Also, if there is anything you are particularly struggling to navigate on the community, please do not hesitate to let us know if there's anything we can help with. The community are here for you
Sorry to hear you're struggling so much. Sending lots of hugs!
But wow 8 years playing the violin is a long time!! I used to play the guitar (for like 4 years or something) but my teacher in primary school was a pedo and then I just gave up so I started playing piano! Playing an instrument is so nice, it's cool how we can create our own music.
I hope your day is going well!
I understand the mood swings completely. When I started antidepressants my mood went from so constantly shit to like all over the place so yeah I get it and I know it sucks. But hopefully the medication/mood stabilizer can help u!
One of my old friends was an andew tate supporter and it was so odd how he was trying to justify that mindset, like it literally felt like he had been brainwashed like u said. It's weird. I'm not friends with him anymore because he ended up being a dickhead anyway lol. But yeah all that stuff about depression not being real is so dumb and insensitive to me. How do people feel like they can make such strong judgements about what other people are experiencing? Unless they've experienced depression themselves they couldn't possibly understand. Even if they haven't been through something similar though, being understanding isn't that difficult.
I wanna do psychology at uni and I was talking to my cousins about it and they were saying something similar too. Like how it isn't a real science, it isn't a real job to be a therapist, you just sit there and listen. They were saying like 'what's the point in therapy, I would never talk to a random stranger, can't u just talk to your friends or something??' and some of the stuff just sounds so damn ignorant.
But lol don't apologise for complaining, trust me sometimes I can complain a hell of a lot too xD
Lol I can't relate though, I definitely don't live in a 'posh' area. I understand the money thing though, I feel like it's so so awkward. My family are ok with money and we've had some blips and things but as of rn we're ok but I realise some of my friends and the people around me are struggling much more financially so I try not to go on about holidays and things like that too much. It's really awkward though because I don't want them to think I'm actign different around them but I don't wanna seem braggy and make anyone feel like shit either.
But yeah I really don't understand their attitudes to certain things. Like ik a lot of stuff in my life would be diferent if my parents were rich but I feel like I'd still want to earn money and be successful myself yk? Like I want to be able to live in a mansion (maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration) and say 'I earnt myself all this money' and not 'lol i'm just using my parent's money' if that makes sense? I'm rambling so much lol. But my friends are all like 'omg I'd love to marry a rich dude' and I just don't get it. Like obviously money is great, who doesn't want money? But I don't want to just depend on someone else. i don't wanna just laze around all day with all the money in the world and no job. I wanna be able to say I worked hard and did well. Ok I really need to stop rambling now.
Ok last thing I wanna say is talk about the taking life too seriously thing. I feel like it's really difficult sometimes because I don't want to get too caught up in having fun and thinking 'fuck it yolo let me just have a good time' to the point that I fuck up and lose control but I don't want to be so serious that my life is boring and fun just becomes a foreign concept. But it's hard to find the right balance sometimes if that makes sense. But yeah your friend is definitely just going a little bit over the top with the breaking out of the matrix stuff lmao