Feeling down again lately

Creativeboy23 · March 2023

Hello all.

I have been feeling down again lately.

In social settings, I have noticed that I am afraid to leave my seat, walk to get a drink and go to the bathroom as I feel others are watching me. I always end up eventually doing it, but I will linger.

I shared with the MA student that her feedback on my designs affected me, and she just responded; oh, alright, and said she would see me the next day. So, I ended up disheartened and more hurt. I thought I had forgotten about it, but it cropped up again after my presentation yesterday.

In an employability session, I was offended when a staff member brought up students not being confident without acknowledging why they may not be. So, it felt like he was labelling students as not being self-assured, and they are bad for it, and the emotion is wrong. This event has stayed with me for some time. I know it is not personal to me, but it does not mean it is not supposed to be upsetting to hear.

I have been struggling to think about and use the coping technique a staff member from the well-being team advised when experiencing memories and thoughts. However, I have been feeling bad for not using it, as others expect us to take action with these things.

Although I share how I feel with others, others expects us to push difficult emotions away when we have them and be happy. They are labelled as negative, making it challenging to feel them.

M3GANx04 · March 2023

Hey there!

I understand how you feel unfortunately. I struggled quite badly with social anxiety, and I will never forget the irrational overwhelming fear of sitting in maths class unable to open my pencil case because the zip would be too loud. Silly things like that can take over. I'm so sorry you're experiencing these feelings.

It's unfortunate that the MA student didn't respond more empathetically and the lack of understanding in the employability session. I guess it's important to remind yourself that we can only control how we respond to the situation, not how other people do so. In times like that I often remind myself that it is not a reflection of my abilities, just their lack of understanding for my needs. And that's okay, because not everyone n life will understand. That's why it's important that we take our perspective from struggling with these issues, and use them to help those around us.

Coping mechanisms are difficult to use. Sometimes we forget because the moment is so overwhelming, sometimes there's a sense of comfort in our own familiar distress, and sometimes they simply do not work. There are many reasons why it can be hard to move forward. Even if it's good advice, it won't make your problems magically disappear. Remember no to feel guilty about not using the coping technique, just try to remember to do so when you can, or perhaps discuss this with the wellbeing team who suggested it.

Hope you start to feel a bit better over the next coming days. Let me know if i can help with anything

Terry8936 · March 2023

Hi, @Creativeboy23 . It sounds like you have been through a tough time. It’s understandable to feel worried in different social settings. It is very normal to worry about what others may be thinking about ourselves. But people usually won’t pay much attention to everyone’s actions. You can try to think if you see other people leaving their seat, walking to get a drink, or going somewhere, will you think about them negatively? Probably not, so you can be a little relieved because others may be the same.

It's important to remember that you have the right to have your emotions and that it's okay to express them. Others' opinions do not define your worth or abilities. You can choose to share the feelings to the people who you want to and are comfortable to share with.

emiip98 · March 2023

Hey @Creativeboy23

Anxiety can be the worst! I can relate to that, it feels like it takes so much willpower to try and do a task because of it and it can be really overwhelming at times. Its great that you manage to push through and do it eventually though and you have to give yourself credit for that, even small steps is still progress

Its not nice when you are feeling like this and other just do not understand, this is not a reflection of yourself in anyway, not everyone will have the same experiences with anxiety as you so probably are unable to relate. Its important to always do what is best for you and what feels right, if a coping mechanism is not working for you then I would try speaking with the wellbeing team again to see if they can suggest other options for you as not the same method will work for everyone.

Hope things get better for you soon, we are always hear for you

Creativeboy23 · March 2023

Hello @M3GANx04.

Those are good points. I will try to remind myself of them.

Thanks for your help. I have not really gotten any better, but I will try and get through it.

Creativeboy23 · March 2023

Hello @Terry8936.

It sure have. That is a good point.

That sounds like a useful way to cope with anxiety. I will try it as much as I can.

I will keep those points in mind.

Thanks for your support.

Creativeboy23 · March 2023

Hello @eparker98.

That is true.

I never really thought about it. I have been thinking that I will only be making progress when I have overcome my anxiety. I will try give myself credit as much as I can, when I push through it.

Yeah. I will have a talk with the wellbeing team.

Feeling down again lately

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