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Would you tell white lies to your suicidal friend

Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
in Health & Wellbeing
I have this kind of feeling that people only say wonderful things about me to keep me alive. All the wonderful things they said about me are fake. I don't want to hurt their feelings but this is how I feel. I feel like they are telling white lies to me because they do not want to lose me. I have a lot of bad habits. I have no common sense. I have no talent. I am a failure at uni. I am unemployed. I am not at all a positive person. I failed everyone's expectations.
Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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    StephanieStephanie Moderator Posts: 1,084 Wise Owl
    Hey @Kate_20

    Just wanted to check in to see how you are? And send you some hugs :heart:

    Sorry to hear you are struggling. Have you spoken to anyone about how you feel? We are here for you, and it's very brave to open up about how you feel.

    :heart:
                                   "Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if only one remembers to turn on the light" - Albus Dumbledore 

    "Like when I was down you just had that smile that made me feel like everything's worthwhile. Thinking of the day when you went away, what a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you"

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    RileyRiley Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    Speaking from my own experience with low moods and depression @Kate_20 I know how difficult it is to believe people when they say good things about you, it's all too easy for our brains to focus solely on the negative especially when we're struggling. I'm sure there are just as many positive things about you, if not more, than what you've listed here and you just need to be reminded of them sometimes.

    I know from how you support everyone here on the boards that you're a very kind and caring person and I hope you're able to focus some of that kindness inwards and give yourself the kind of support you so often give to others. <3
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
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    coc0maccoc0mac Posts: 1,054 Wise Owl
    edited December 2021
    Just as Riley says, low mood, depression, any type of mental ill-health, can make it so difficult to believe nice things about yourself. But that doesn't mean that's the reality. You can have a negative perception of yourself; but the true reality really can be so different.

    I would love to directly echo what Riley has said here -
    I know from how you support everyone here on the boards that you're a very kind and caring person and I hope you're able to focus some of that kindness inwards and give yourself the kind of support you so often give to others.
    .
    I can see that and everybody on the boards can see that. You're such a kind, loving and strong person. I truly hope that one day you can see that yourself. You deserve to be so happy :heart:
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    Past UserPast User Recovering🥀 LondonPosts: 0 Just got here
    edited December 2021
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
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    StellalunaStellaluna Posts: 62 Boards Initiate
    @Kate_20 As people have said in the chat, it can be really difficult to see the good things about ourselves when we feel low. It becomes difficult to fairly judge ourselves and the people closest to us can often see things that are great about us when we cannot.

    It is great that you acknowledge you have things to work on. No one is born perfect. Habits can be unlearnt, failures overcome, and they do not define you. The sad feelings, the negative thoughts or ‘failures’ are not you. Failing is an important process for learning and improving. These are what make us grow as human beings.

    You are special, unique and have value in this world. Your friends can see this. Please keep on persevering.
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    AifeAife Community Manager Posts: 3,032 Boards Guru
    edited December 2021
    Just echoing the lovely support that's already been shared here @Kate_20, you are so valued here and we all care about you so much <3

    I'm hearing how much you're struggling and how hard it's feeling hearing the support from your friends which sounds really tough to be going through. If you do feel those thoughts you're having of not wanting to be here get too much and you would like a safe space to talk to someone, remember that Crisis Messenger, Samaritans and Papyrus are always just a call or text away. I've included their phone numbers below in the spoiler so you have them here :)
    *Crisis Messenger - Our crisis messenger text service provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you’re aged 25 or under, you can text THEMIX to 85258.
    * Papyrus - If you are having thoughts of suicide, you can contact HOPELINEUK for confidential support and practical advice. You can call them on 0800 068 4141 or text them on 07786209697.
    * Samaritans are reachable by phone and email 24/7. Whatever you're going through, you can call them any time, from any phone on 116 123.

    You're doing really well reaching out here for support and we're always going to be here to support you every step of the way <3
    Maybe somethings don't get better, but we do. We get stronger. We learn to live with our situations as messy and ugly as they are. We fix what we can and we adapt to what we can't. Maybe some of us will never fully be okay, but at least we're here. We're still trying. We're doing the best we can. That's worth celebrating too ❤
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    Kate_20Kate_20 Posts: 653 Incredible Poster
    @Stephanie @Riley @coc0mac @Stellaluna @Aife Sorry for the late reply. I am getting into some trouble with my parents, otherwise I am okay. I don't feel like they can understand me even when I tried to persuade them with logic. Things wouldn't work out. My parents are not saying positive things about me and sadly I feel obliged to listen to them as I cannot support myself atm. I am barely talking to my friends as they are super busy and everyone is getting on with their lives. I hope I am a kind person who can offer support but I feel like most of the time it was only people who are supporting me but I might be too low in energy to write a proper reply.
    @zaynab_5 sorry to hear that you are struggling as well and I hope you will get better. Your self-care tips are also helpful:)
    Tengo el alma en cuarentena y roto el cuerpo
    Qué dolor, qué pena y qué tormento
    El Kanka - Lo mal que estoy y lo poco que me quejo
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    BrookeeBrookee Posts: 1,327 Wise Owl
    @Kate_20 I'm really sorry to read you're struggling right now, and that your parents aren't being as supportive as you'd hope, that seems really upsetting and distressing for you. I think it's important to remember that you and your mental health are really important here, have you been able to access any support outside of your home i.e. GP, therapists etc. They may be able to help you with this feeling that you're not doing enough to support others. It's really important that you take care of your mental health as a priority, I know that can make you feel guilt, but we can't be there for others if we're not helping ourselves. You are most definitely a kind person, the amount of care and concern you show for supporting others only shows that you are kind and caring. It's just maybe not an easy time for you to support people, when you're struggling with your own mental health, and that is okay. Your true friends will understand what you're going through, and stick by you. I wonder if you've been able to organise some kind of connection with these friends over the festive period i.e. video calls, quizzes etc. this may help in you feeling less isolated. Take care of yourself and try to be gentle with yourself during this time. <3
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    Laura_tigger82Laura_tigger82 Moderator Posts: 5,107 Part of The Furniture
    Hi @Kate_20

    I am really sorry to hear you have been struggling. It seems the wonderful community have already provided you with all the words I would have :)

    We all say it because we mean every word and we care about you :)

    It would seem it has been a week since you last posted this thread. How have you been feeling since? <3
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    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
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