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HELPPšŸ˜­šŸ˜­

SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
in Health & Wellbeing
Really bad dangerous thoughts
ā€œAnd when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.ā€ ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie I'm here if you want to talk ā¤ļø
    Alis propriis volatĀ 
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    LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Hey Shaunie we're here to talk I'm glad you've reached out, how are you doing now? :)Ā 

    šŸŒˆPositive thoughtsšŸŒˆ

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
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    JustVJustV Community Manager Posts: 5,306 Part of The Furniture
    edited October 2020
    As the others rightly said, we're here for you @Shaunie. :)

    If you need support urgently for those urges or you're worried you can't keep yourself safe at the mo, I'd really encourage you to call 999 or go to A&E. Or if that feels like too much, reach out to a crisis service like Papyrus or Crisis Messenger. Not only can they give you crisis support to help you through those moments, they can support you more quickly than we can on a forum. :star:Ā Ā 

    I know you've got an appointment coming up soon - is that contributing to those thoughts?

    It would be interesting to know what helps you most when you're in moments like this. Is a distraction useful? Or maybe a vent? It's also okay if there isn't a clear answer to that question. :)
    All behaviour is a need trying to be met.
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    independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,615 Legendary Poster
    Hey Shaunie,

    It sounds like itā€™s been a tough day, Iā€™m really sorry to hear youā€™re feeling like that.

    As the others have said if you ever want to chat about it weā€™re all here <3Ā 
    ā€œSometimes the people around you wonā€™t understand your journey. They donā€™t need to, itā€™s not for them.ā€
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you all <3 xxxx
    ā€œAnd when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.ā€ ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited October 2020
    It is the appointment making me feel like this. The closer it comes the sooner they could tell me they canā€™t help and I will have 0hopeĀ for the future. Which would automatically mean death I guess šŸ˜“
    ā€œAnd when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.ā€ ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie sending hugs ā¤ļø its understandable that the appointment would make it you feel on edge, especially when you don't know what is going to come from it. What makes you think they're not going to be able to help you?Ā 
    Alis propriis volatĀ 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited October 2020
    Because the white spots keep coming and going. And if theyā€™re not theron the day then they will be like oh nothing is wrong. But I have pictures of when there is white spots.Ā 
    ā€œAnd when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.ā€ ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie Its great that you've got the photos, they're a safe back up if the spots aren't there on the day. Maybe try and keep it in mind that you have the photos so you don't need to worry about whether they're going to be there or not. You can also tell this to the practioner, it could be a symptom or something! Worth letting them know anyway
    Alis propriis volatĀ 
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    Anch0r33Anch0r33 Posts: 1,201 Wise Owl
    I'm sending hugs, I don't have anything more than what everyone has said but I agree with Eleanor, keep the pics handy so you don't stress about not being able to find them or whatever.Ā 

    Always here if you need a chat <3 
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    _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
    @Shaunie sending big hugs šŸ’ž
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    edited October 2020
    Please someone help me. Iā€™ve just found a an letter to say an cancelled appointment šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ it doesnā€™t say for what. Omg I had a text for a reminder and a letter of concellation

    im self harming rn. Help mešŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ breathing so fast
    ā€œAnd when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.ā€ ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Is anyone awake????šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­
    ā€œAnd when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.ā€ ~ Kirsten Corley
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    _John_John Posts: 87 Budding Regular
    Mike said:
    As the others rightly said, we're here for you @Shaunie. :)

    If you need support urgently for those urges or you're worried you can't keep yourself safe at the mo, I'd really encourage you to call 999 or go to A&E. Or if that feels like too much, reach out to a crisis service like Papyrus or Crisis Messenger. Not only can they give you crisis support to help you through those moments, they can support you more quickly than we can on a forum. :star:Ā Ā 

    I know you've got an appointment coming up soon - is that contributing to those thoughts?

    It would be interesting to know what helps you most when you're in moments like this. Is a distraction useful? Or maybe a vent? It's also okay if there isn't a clear answer to that question. :)

    Please consider this. šŸ‘†^ Ā I donā€™t have anything else to say other than this. I want to add Samaritans (116 123) as well if you need it. Feel free to talk anytime now before I go to sleep soon.Ā  :)
    "Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak."Ā  - Sun Tzu
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    I donā€™t know the point anymore šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ Iā€™m confused about this appointment šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ do I have it or not šŸ˜­
    ā€œAnd when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.ā€ ~ Kirsten Corley
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    _John_John Posts: 87 Budding Regular
    Can you try and reach someone and respond back on whoā€™s in charge of the appointment?
    "Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak."Ā  - Sun Tzu
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie I'm awake if you want to talk ā¤ļø
    Alis propriis volatĀ 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Thank yous

    crying and hardly cry šŸ˜­. Iā€™m guessing itā€™s cancelled cause of corona. I canā€™t wait any longer and I canā€™t afford private what do I došŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ I donā€™t want to be alive. Iā€™m safe atm cause Iā€™m planning on ringing them MondayĀ 
    ā€œAnd when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.ā€ ~ Kirsten Corley
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    _John_John Posts: 87 Budding Regular
    I hope everything goes well for you, I have to go to sleep. Just relax for now and try to stay for another tomorrow if you can!Ā  :) Look after yourself.Ā 
    "Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak."Ā  - Sun Tzu
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    It doesnā€™t say what appointment or who with. Just an appointment cancelled. But today I got a text of a reminder ugh Iā€™m confused. I have no other appointments tho
    ā€œAnd when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.ā€ ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Thank you john
    ā€œAnd when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.ā€ ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie does it say who it was sent from at all?Ā 
    Alis propriis volatĀ 
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    Also @Shaunie it's alright to let yourself cry, it's actually really healthy ā¤ļø it's understandable that the confusion and concern surrounding the appointment has brought this on. You've got a good next step of calling them on Monday!Ā 
    Alis propriis volatĀ 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    It says itā€™s from the NHS e-referral service which i donā€™t know what that is

    Ā but they did have to change the time as they accidentally had me done for my ears instead. So changed the time. But I doubt itā€™s on about that because very late letter for that and would say the new time
    ā€œAnd when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.ā€ ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie ah okay, when is your appointment supposed to be for?Ā 
    Alis propriis volatĀ 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    the 3rd (Tuesday)
    ā€œAnd when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.ā€ ~ Kirsten Corley
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie Okay, so if you give them a call Monday morning then you'll have enough time to know before your appointment. If its not cancelled then that's great, but what do you think you could do if it is canceled to look after yourself?Ā 
    Alis propriis volatĀ 
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    ZenZen Posts: 1,989 Extreme Poster
    @Shaunie How are you doing today ā¤ļø

    Alis propriis volatĀ 
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    Iā€™m feeling better today. Just scared to ring them tomorrow. Iā€™m working full day so I guess Iā€™ll have to ring them on one Of my breaks and so I guess I could keep myself safe if they say itā€™s been cancelled. I donā€™t know why it would be cancelled tho. It was easy to get the appointment and they even asked if I wanted it the same week I asked but I could cause was at work for every one they said until this one. So i donā€™t know why would be cancelled But yeah unless cause covid Gone worse:(((Ā 
    ā€œAnd when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.ā€ ~ Kirsten Corley
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    SienaSiena Posts: 15,495 Skive's The Limit
    My appointment isnā€™t cancelled šŸ˜Š
    ā€œAnd when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.ā€ ~ Kirsten Corley
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