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Anyone awake. (Kinda struggling tonight)

*BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
Hi 

The title says it all. Not sure what to say. I’m so anxious. Texted shout but they are busy so I’m waiting. Just feel so alone. Negative thoughts going through my head. 

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

:heart: 
" And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
" So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
'' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
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Comments

  • LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    Sending all the virtual hugs! 💙

    Hopefully the wait isn't too long for shout I understand it can get busy sometimes is there anything you can do in the mean time? 

    As you're feeling anxious have you tried grounding techniques yet? 
    Deep breathes  and the senses? :)

    You're never alone here and if you need to talk about anything I'm here to listen no matter how big or small 

    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Thank you @Laine

    I’m just so tired.. both physically and mentally. I need to sleep I just can’t. I want to self harm. 

    I took my meds and they have made me feel tired but I also feel really restless.

    i struggle with the breathing stuff cause I’ve got asthma so breathing in general can sometimes be difficult.

    i just need a hug :( 


    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • LaineLaine Deactivated Posts: 2,762 Boards Guru
    All the virtual hugs 💙

    Ah yeah I remember you saying you were recently diagnosed with asthma are your inhalers working? It's quite stuffy at night it doesn't help!

    Do you have any methods that work for you when you feel the urge to harm? A rubber band or some ice cubes maybe? 

    Maybe Something that helps you relax like a nice hot drink or calming sounds on YouTube? :) 


    🌈Positive thoughts🌈

    "This is my family. I found it, all on my own.
    It's little, and Broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good." ~ Stitch

    "Lately, I've been struggling with all the simple things in my life" ~ Cian Ducrot

    "I don't know if it's because my heart hurts or I'm insecure" ~ Juice Wrld
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    The steroid inhaler helps a bit which is good. 

    Yeah I think I’m going to put some relaxing music on and hope I fall asleep. I’ve just really had enough since about Friday last week I’ve been in the worst headspace and I just want to get on a train and never come back. I won’t ever do that. But just feel so lost and not myself at all 
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • JordanJordan Moderator Posts: 343 The Mix Regular
    Sorry to hear you aren't feeling your self *BananaMonkey*. I hope the music helped you get to sleep! I hope Shout was able to get back to you :)

    Do you think there is anything in particular triggering how you are feeling?


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  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    @Jordan

    Thanks for your reply... I’ve not been on my meds for about a week. Just stopped them. I’m back on them now but they take time to get back into my system. 

    Shout didn’t get back to me. 

    I just want to feel okay 
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I hate evenings :( 
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Past UserPast User Posts: 1,997 Extreme Poster
    sending big hugs <3
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    edited August 2020
    thank you @Liam means a lot :heart: 
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
    I’m awake what’s up 🥺
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Hope you are doing ok 💕💕
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Im really not doing too good and I’m not sure what’s wrong. I didn’t take my meds for a week but I’m now back on them. But I’m feeling no better 
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
    I hope you feel better soon 🥺❤️
  • RileyRiley Moderator Posts: 991 Part of The Mix Family
    Hey @*BananaMonkey* I'm sorry to hear that you've been struggling so much lately, it really sounds like you've had a lot on your plate lately so it's understandable that you're feeling so stressed out and anxious.

    I'd like to echo what others have said and send you lots of hugs, we all want to support you here on the boards. <3 I don't know what kind of medication you're taking but it's possible that it just takes a while to get through your system, hopefully you'll start feeling better before too long!

    Be sure to keep us all updated on how you're doing since I know we're all rooting for you. :)
    FAQ | How to report a post | How to report spam
    I'm a community moderator. I'm here to help guide discussions and make sure Community Guidelines are followed. I can't send DMs, but you can message @TheMix or email community@themix.org.uk with questions or concerns.
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I can’t do this anymore :’( 
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I dislike chronic pain so much :( 
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • Salix_alba_2019Salix_alba_2019 Deactivated Posts: 1,646 Extreme Poster
    Sending massive hugs ❤️
  • GreenTeaGreenTea Posts: 12,938 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    I dislike chronic pain so much :( 

    Sending hugs, I hope it eases so you can get some rest. You know where I am if you need me x
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Thank you :heart:

    I've been given more painkillers to take alongside the ones I am already on. Fed up of feeling this way, 5 years is too long :( 
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
    I'm awake <3
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Really struggling :( 
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,610 Legendary Poster
    @*BananaMonkey* aww no I’m really sorry to hear you’re struggling tonight :( sending big hugs. Stay strong. 

    What’s on your mind tonight? We’re here
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Thank you @independent_ :heart:

    im just in a lot of pain and I have forgotten what it feels like to not be in pain. Chronic pain is horrible, nerve pain is horrible, I feel so restless

    I can’t take anymore pain meds tonight cause I’ve had all the doses I can take. 

    I just wish the pain would go. It won’t tho. 6 years nearly of this now and I’ve just had enough 
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,610 Legendary Poster
    Aww @*BananaMonkey* I can imagine it really is horrible to be in that much pain all the time and not to remember what it’s like to not be in so much pain. That’s really tough. 

    Do you have anything that you do as a sort of distraction? Something that makes you feel calmer and more relaxed?
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    I’m really hoping my meds kick in so I can sleep. I was at work 3-10 so I’m really fired but just feel restless cause of the pain. 

    @independent_ thank you lots for talking to me. 
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • _Tech_Addict_Girl_Tech_Addict_Girl Posts: 1,489 Wise Owl
    I’m awake❤️🥺
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,610 Legendary Poster
    It’s not a problem at all <3 hope you can get some sleep soon @*BananaMonkey*, have you got work tomorrow? 
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • *BananaMonkey**BananaMonkey* Posts: 5,462 Part of The Furniture
    Thank you @independent_
    I got about 3 hours sleep. I’m in work at 3 
    " And everywhere I am, there you'll be, your love made me make it through, oh I owe so much to you "
    " So I say thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing, thanks for all the joy they're bringing, who can live without it, I ask in all honestly what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say thank you for the music, for giving it to me "
    '' It's a beautiful day and I can't stop myself from smiling "
  • independent_independent_ Community Champion Posts: 8,610 Legendary Poster
    Aww no that’s rubbish @*BananaMonkey*, hope you sleep better tonight. There’s nothing worse than a really bad nights sleep when you’re already feeling at your worst. 

    How are you feeling today? I hope work isn’t too bad.
    “Sometimes the people around you won’t understand your journey. They don’t need to, it’s not for them.”
  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    I’m sorry to hear you’re in a lot of pain @bananamonkey <3
    hope you get some rest soon

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
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