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trigger warning - mood swings
i’ve been having these mood swings where the tiniest thing or seemingly nothing makes me switch super abruptly from being okay to being extremely low, anxious or angry. sometimes i’m okay for about 5 minutes then bad for 5 minutes then okay then bad etc etc etc. it’s really exhausting and draining and causing me to have suicidal thoughts and feel unsafe because i don’t trust myself when i’m feeling so low and it’s so almost constantly. yesterday i was at my boyfriend’s house and was having the experience of being okay for a bit then not okay etc, but then i got into a low and just went so so so down so quickly and i was just on his kitchen floor sobbing and wanting it to stop and feeling like i wanted to die and he had no idea what to do and i could barely communicate. i feel so guilty because he makes me so happy and he’s the best thing in my life yet i’m still feeling so low for some reason, even when i’m with him. i just don’t know what to do. i’m seeing my counsellor at school in two days but i don’t know if she’ll be able to tell me anything much about it. it’s hard to manage being at school when my mood flips so quickly and the smallest things set me off and i still have to try and concentrate and do work. i’m just so exhausted and i’m not sleeping properly and having awful nightmares. i just want to stop hurting