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I feel really drained now. It's too early for me & I'm starving so really embarrassing when my stomach makes so much noise lol. Definetly need to remember to eat before going like honesty embarrasing
But I couldn't say what happened, yet I could say it at Samaritans branch yesterday (probs cause it took like 2 hours to say though) don't have 2 hours to finally say it lol & plus I think it was a lot harder because I know I will see her again & knowing she will see me in different light & maybe dirty. & tbh i didnt feel completely comfortable with her as normally do with people. & tbh I dk if that's cause she's quite old & not used to speaking to old people but lol that sounds bad I'm sure she's nice & sure feel better when feel more comfortable.
But didn't speak about it which am disappointed in myself for. Spoke more about my life than anything. So she was asking if looking at my referral will help as she doesn't do it before seeing someone. I said maybe will help. (Eventho dunno kinda wanted to say it myself before she reads it)
I'm guessing she read I was forced to wee on someone and stuff. But idek I guess I'd like to know what the referral said aswell. But she didn't say much about it only "you have gone through awful experiences"
& was asking who referred me to here. I said the police referred me to the ISVAs part of rape crisis and then the sexual violence adviser referred me here. She asked who my sexual violence adviser was so told me her & she knew her & asked if she could speak to her about me on how to support me and about what happened and will get back to me within 2 weeks. Well tbh my old ISVA Is not the best person to speak to. She will tell her how attached I get to people it's embarrasing to say but I would text my ISVA work phone even when she discharged me. So when she gave me her work number I was just thinking are you sure you wanna do that lol. But I didn't wanna say no you can't speak to her as she'd just be confused on why. But now I'm scared on what she will say to her about me. Hopefully wont say bad but idek