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Feeling bad. trigger

ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 2,731 Boards Champion
in Health & Wellbeing
I was on the swing early this morning and I was singing Gethsemane to myself. No-one was around so I decided to take my top off alittle bit cold but being on the swing helped warm me. Depression make u do strange things doesn't it, walking back I was fully clothed. I feel bad coz I'm back home. Being back home makes me feel that I don't wanna be here anymore. plz send hugs
Mike

Comments

  • SiobhanSiobhan Posts: 14,446 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Sending hugs

    sounds like you feel more free away from home?
    how are you feeling now?
    “ i think that deep down you still think life is worth living. It’s no where near over for you. You’re in pain. The thing you lost, Is the same thing that can stop that pain”
  • ellie2000ellie2000 Posts: 2,731 Boards Champion
    the park where I got raped is gone now. I don't go there anymore :) I don't feel normal:'( tht prevents me getting on the bus to stuff wat I enjoy. 
    im booking holidays which is gd.
  • MikeMike Community Manager Posts: 4,099 Community Veteran
    Just a heads up @ellie2000 that I removed your last post, as it contained some pretty graphic description of self-harm and it's important we don't discuss methods. If you want to say you self-harm, a good rule is to stick to using the term 'self-harm'. If you say that, we know you're in pain and we can do our best to help. :)

    Does anyone away from The Mix know about your self-harm or the sexual assault you went through?

    As @Shaunie said, it sounds like you're feeling liberated being away from home. Feeling depressed or anxious, or really any kind of mental ill-health can indeed do weird things to us, and sometimes you can find enjoyment or relief in unusual things! It's awesome that you've started booking holidays and living a little for yourself - is it somewhere abroad or closer to home?

    ellie2000 said:
    I don't feel normal:'( tht prevents me getting on the bus to stuff wat I enjoy.

    When you say you don't feel 'normal', what does that mean to you? What would make you feel normal?

    It's good to see you posting and continuing to reach out. You're doing great Ellie. :)

    Taking a break 🌈
  • SiobhanSiobhan Posts: 14,446 Born on Earth, Raised by The Mix
    Great you booked hoildays since thats somewhere away from home and maybe a break?  Hope you enjoy it

    Keep posting if is helping and letting us know how we can support you. 
    “ i think that deep down you still think life is worth living. It’s no where near over for you. You’re in pain. The thing you lost, Is the same thing that can stop that pain”
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