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My life is a flop tw: suicidal

Butterfly06Butterfly06 Posts: 6 Confirmed not a robot
I've graduated did all the applying to various places (including charity and volunteer work) and I never hear back from them. 
Now I'm trying to find a job that pays enough for me to move out of my toxic environment that I am in now. 
I live with family members that have a negative effect on me mentally. I have tried to overdose twice since graduating because of their added stress. 
I just feel like my life is a flop. I went to university for 3 years and now I can't even get a job in Tesco. 
I hate my physical appearance and I hate that I have no social life. 
I mentioned to an aunt that all I do all day is stay in my small room on my laptop because that's all I can do. I only leave the house to do my food shopping or visit previously mentioned aunt (once a month).
Recently I've also felt so exhausted even when I've had a lot of sleep. I'm too anxious to go to the doctors and our local one would only see me in a week and half time from when I went in to book an appointment. 
Not sure what to do as I really need to go to a doctor about all these issues and I'm anxious about it. I don't want anything being put on a file about my mental health if I go to a doctor's about this. Is there a loophole for this? 

Comments

  • SienaSiena Posts: 15,463 Skive's The Limit
    Hey 

    im sorry youre stuggling with all this:(
    Why dont you want anything to be put on your records about mental health? Is nothing to be ashamed off.  


    Maybe you could get someone else to look at your CV or something? 

    This is this charity that might have in your area called The Princes Trust https://www.princes-trust.org.uk/ 
    “We work hard to create brighter futures for young people aged 11 to 30, empowering them to get into jobs, education and training.”
    May not be something youd be interested in trying, is something i wanna try. but thought id share anyway and has videos about what it does aswell. 

    Know maybe stuff youve heard before, but this can be a temporary feeling. So when youre feeling like overdosing from family stress think about that at some point you can move out and wont feel like this forever. Is what i remind myself sometimes when dont like living at home.

    “And when they look at you, they won't see everything you've been through. They won't see the **** that turned to scars that began to fade with time. They won't see the heartbreaking things that shook up and changed your entire world. They won't know how many tears you cried or even what it was you were crying about. They won't see how strong you had to be because you had no other choice. What they will see though is how compassionate you are because you experienced pain. What they will see is how kind you are because you experienced how cruel the world is. What they will see is how good you are because you've seen how bad things or people can be. The difference between you and your experiences are who you choose to be, despite everything that could have turned you cold and unkind.You are the good the world needs and the best of us.” ~ Kirsten Corley
  • Lucy307Lucy307 Posts: 1,171 Wise Owl
    Hey @Butterfly06

    Sorry to hear about what you're going through, sounds like a tough environment to be in and you want to get out. I know I just mentioned this on your other thread but do you have anything you love doing like a hobby that would help get you out the house, and will be good for your CV? 

    Do you want to talk about the type of job you would like and we can have a look at routes in? It might be that you start with voluntary work if you can and build up the experience first. 

    It sounds like you know you need to go to the doctors about the issues you're facing and I really encourage you to do so, you can ask about your record and see what they say. It's really not anything to be ashamed or worried about if you are, they have a duty of confidentiality after all. If you are unsure about going to the docs, how about trying an online service like a helpline, do you think that might work? 

    - Lucy
    Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend
  • Candlestick56Candlestick56 Posts: 90 Budding Regular
    Hey @Butterfly06,

    I read your other post before I read this and I feel really bad now for comparing dating to job hunting! 

    Job hunting, especially fresh out of uni, is a really horrible, hard process. I remember how frustrated and low I felt. I ended up getting my first job through volunteering because I wasn't hearing back from anyone either. In fact, every time I've had to look for a new job, it's taken me an average of six months!

    I would definitely recommend doing some voluntary work while you look for something paid. It will help keep your spirits and motivation up. Lack of social interaction can really bring you down and volunteering can really make a big difference. It's easy for everything to feel shit when your self esteem is low. I've seen it happen to a lot of people when they're struggling to find work. Even people who would normally be really confident and outgoing. I'm not surprised that you feel exhausted all the time if you're just staying indoors all day. You need to try and get some sunlight everyday if you can. Even if you just go for a really short local walk every day, I think it will make you feel better. Lucy's suggestion of getting a hobby or joining some kind of club is really good idea. My friend who was made redundant joined a local acting class at the adult community college and said it's te best thing she's ever done. Is there an adult college near you? You migth be entitled to a discount if you're claiming job seeker's allowance as well.

    Keep positive, you'll find a job soon! :)
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