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Struggling to come out

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  • MirabelleMirabelle Owl Whisperer Kensington.Posts: 1,020 The Mix Regular
    I so feel for you. Though you are brave to share with us here, I feel that there is plenty more time to come out and my advice is that you don't rush things. The problem arises is that your family could react so negatively and be harsh that you could regret coming out.

    Since you are scared of losing your father, I suggest again that you bide your time and while doing so, how about contacting your local LBGT offices? They are online and will be only too happy to help you.

    http://lgbt.foundation/

    Further information: https://www.gov.uk/guidance/lesbian-gay-bisexual-and-transgender-foreign-travel-advice

    Wishing you all the best,

    ~ Belle
    'If you think education is expensive, try estimating the cost of ignorance'.

    - Howard Gardner
  • PositiveAuraPositiveAura Posts: 150 Settling in
    Hey @TitchP15 :)

    First of all, thanks for coming on here and sharing your story for anyone else who may be struggling about coming out to a family member or anything similar.

    It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation and @Mirabelle has given you some great advice. If you decide on coming out to your Dad (and anyone else for that matter) then this should be done on your terms and when you want to.

    It sounds like you have a lot of people around you and you are thinking about their feelings, just remember that your thoughts and feelings are just as important.

    So take things slow, sometimes it's good to drop comments or questions into everyday life. Especially if there may have been some negative comments before, casually bringing up the subject can open up a conversation. For example, brining up a show on TV that may have someone Trans in it, and guage the response back. This can help to educate the other person too - your Dad may not know much and that's why he may have said the 'weird' comment. Then you can slowly get a feel for what your response may be if you came out to him.

    Maybe you could check out this link from here on The Mix all about coming out and see if anything helps you clear your mind and know your options:

    http://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/gender-and-sexuality/how-to-come-out-3741.html

    The main thing is you being comfortable and ready, start there and take it slow. :)

    -PositiveAura
  • FranFran Posts: 118 Boards Initiate
    Hey @TitchP15,

    I have just posted a reply under your other post, so I'm going to focus on your relationship with your dad right now.
    Your father may have expressed some thoughts about transgender people, but always remember that you are his child and that everyone has the right to change their mind or even to create a new opinion. What I mean is that it is important that you express your feelings and thoughts about being transgender, in order to let him understand the reasons behind your choices and in order to make him know more about you. Even if he is old fashioned and has said that comment, it doesn't necessarily mean that he isn't going to accept your decision and still love you. Take all the time you need before talking to him but be confident about yourself.

    Here's an article about coming out, hoping it can be useful to you :heart:

    http://www.themix.org.uk/sex-and-relationships/gender-and-sexuality/how-to-come-out-3741.html

    - Fran

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