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Narcissist?

DistractionDistraction NoobScotlandPosts: 349 The Mix Regular
I think I live with a narcissist and am just so fed up of feeling like shit most of the time.

If something doesn't go her way or something pisses her off, everyone has to know it, she slams doors, bashes pots about, stomps around like some child, she makes sure everyone feels as angry as she does and theres just no brake from it, you don't have an opinion, ur just a piece of shit on their shoe, she won't talk, it's all about her, she twists things and asks the most stupid questions, there questions u already know the answer to but she asks them so that u know she knows sort of thing.

She manipulates everything, and if u say anything she gets more pissed off because she takes it as an attack at her, so u stay silent but then that's seen as not cooperating but what the fuck are u meant to say when it just gets twisted or makes it worse so sometimes I end up letting a little laugh cos am so fucking confused over what to do, my hands are tied, I can't talk cos that makes everything worse and she gets annoyed if am silent, if I don't laugh I end up crying and then she gets even angrier and starts shouting about how it's all her fault because am crying and how she's the bad guy and asks why am I upset and that she's only trying to talk to me.


At that point I just feel like screaming at her.

what the fuck do I do, I don't know anymore.

By the end of the day I can't even think straight and I get flooded with harming urges cos it's the only thing that slows everything down, so I have to fight them off as well, am just so done am to tired for all this

Comments

  • DreaDrea The Mix Posts: 292 Budding Regular
    Hey Distraction,

    It sounds like you're going through some issues with her at the moment and it can be difficult. Have you ever tried speaking to her about this issue and how it has been making you feel? It may be good to communicate with her and try to talk to her and ask her how the two of you can sort it out. If it makes you uncomfortable to confront her about the situation, you could send her a message or write her a letter just to let her know how she's making you feel. Often people can't realise how much they're affecting someone with their negative attitude until they're told quite obviously that they are hurting people's feelings. When it's done in a calm and formal manner too, it may become harder for her to retaliate in an aggressive way, and you could end up speaking normally and getting it sorted. Does that sound like something that could help?

    Have a great day!

    Drea:heart:
  • DistractionDistraction Noob ScotlandPosts: 349 The Mix Regular
    Hi Drea,

    Thank u for the suggestion, I really did try to talk to her awhile ago, she didn't want to hear it, I was told not to be so selfish and spoiled, that my attitude was out of order, I was very carful not to use any sort of tone and only lightly touched the subject after she calmed down a few days later I gave her a letter, explaining how I felt and also taking her feelings into consideration, she took it the wrong way and thought I was trying to compare her to my mother (which is a big insult) she really isn't all bad but is just really difficult to understand and live with, I don't get why we can't just talk things through
  • DreaDrea The Mix Posts: 292 Budding Regular
    Hey Distraction,

    Well done for doing all of those things! You did the right thing by keeping calm, and it's understandable that you're frustrated as anybody probably would be in that situation. Do you have any other housemates? Or is it just the two of you? If there are more people you could discuss it between you guys. Is it possible to talk to any family members or friends to see what can be done perhaps. If it bothering you that much, then it is important to think about your future there and how you feel in your own home because you should always feel comfortable where you live!

    Drea:heart:
  • DistractionDistraction Noob ScotlandPosts: 349 The Mix Regular
    It's me, her and my dad, other then my dad the only family I have left is her family, which would be a bit hard to trust incase they told her and I don't want her to think am going behind her back with her family, incase she thinks am trying to make her look bad or anything, I do have one friend am rather close to but u can only talk to them so much before it starts to get irritating, the only thing I can think of is to keep saving money so I can move out and hopefully we'll get on better after that, but am no where near ready to get a flat yet, I could try talking to her again but it'll most likely end the same way, am sorry I don't mean to seem like there's no way around this but I generally don't know what to do about it
  • DreaDrea The Mix Posts: 292 Budding Regular
    That's okay, don't apologise, it is a tricky situation! You could definitely try speaking to her and maybe mention that you would like to build a relationship with her (if you actually would like to of course!), and that you don't want conflict in the house, and you would just like to get along with her. Even though two people may not be compatible as friends, it is still possible to be civil with one another and it may be ok mentioning that! Do only what you feel comfortable doing and hope to hear from you soon!

    Drea:heart:
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