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Confused.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have this friend, who I love. Sadly, he doesn't feel the same. We was never in a relationship however, we do take part in sexual actions, by this I mean ( sex, oral). He used to care a lot for me, but things changed and he doesn't feel the same way as he did before. I truly miss the old him. Anyways, we are still doing sexual actions but, I like him and he don't so it like.. hmm. but, I feel like if I give him what he wants ( sex) he would eventually like me? I feel like if he gets the pleasure maybe we can eventually be together. but, nothing changed from when we last did something sexual, I want him to know how I feel but, I think it will ruin everything. i enjoy how we are together , the cuddles and the conversation but for me its more love than lust. and for him its more lust than love. how can i change things? or how can i make him understand that i want things to go back to how they were when he cared for me so much.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey hxney_xx,

    Welcome to THE MIX.

    Your situation sounds quite delicate and I do understand your predicament about not losing a dear friend as well as someone whom you care a lot about as well. However, it would make you feel better if you were honest about your feelings to him. At some point it has to stop being about wanting to change someone else's feelings towards yourself, and take more time to focus on how you can get yourself thorough it. If what you are looking for is more than just sexual relations, then it is your right to be straight forward and honest to the guy. Who knows, maybe talking about it with him might bring back the old him that you have such feelings for.

    I really wish there was another way out of this, especially without having to risk anything between the two of you, but from personal experience and the advice I have received here on THE MIX it is also important to look out for yourself and at times it is okay to be that little bit selfish for a moment or two. I really, really hope that talking to him helps you figure out where he stands and his point of view. If you ever need to talk feel free to message when you want to.
    :):heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thankyou @newguyhere :) ,

    i feel like he thinks its just sexual between us, so if were to come to a point i had a man he wouldn't care,, theres times were he used to get jel when i used to talk to other boys, we used to facetime every night, now he doesn't care at all with what i do, who i talk to ect.. i just don't get how someone can change just like that *clicks finger* i just miss the attention tbh. i just feel like some sex object, we must have argued one time and he said ' show me something sexy and i'll forget about it' b(nude) .And stupid me gives it in just enough to please him. he is homestly special and god forbid if i lose him. but, i want us to be more, back to the old times.

    ​next time when i see him i will try to speak about how i feel. hopefully it goes well and ill let you know.
    thanks for the advice too <3
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    @hxney_xx

    Really all the best to you for it and I really do hope that you get what you are looking for. Best of luck and yeah sure do let us know. :):heart:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey hxney_xx!

    Your situation is a tricky one, but not something that you've got to go through on your own. Have you tried speaking to your friends about this - what do they think? Something to consider is that often your gut instinct is correct, from what I've found through personal experience anyway! If the relationship with your friend isn't making you both happy anymore, then maybe it's time to sit down and talk about your feelings with them? At least this way, you'll fully know where you both stand with each other.

    I look forward to hearing back from you, all the best :heart:

    Hannah x
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey,

    Your situation sounds really tricky. I believe communication is key in every relationship and for some people, it can be helpful to tell them exactly how you feel. Perhaps he feels the same as you after all after speaking about it? However, if he doesn't then maybe it's best for your wellbeing to call things a day. It may sound cliche but there really are plenty fish in the sea! There will be guys out there who want to become emotionally invested in you and you deserve to be adorned. As Hannah (above) said, go with your gut instinct: if it's telling you bad idea, stay away.

    Do what makes you happy,
    Emily x
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