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beginning of the end
My partner and I have recently had a baby, but due to my mental health deteriorating my baby has been placed in the care of my parents. When social work were explaining to me what would likely happen if she went into my parents' care, I asked whether it would be possible for my daughter to be returned to my care again- they said it would be unlikely due to the fact ny daughter would have formed an attachment to my parents and she requires stability. I went through with it and signed my daughter to the care of my folks without explaining what was said to my partner. Later when I tried to explain it would be difficult for us to get our daughter back, he went mental. He said he was leaving me and actually applying for sole custody of our daughter himself. I was terrified he was never going to speak to me again so I backtracked on what I said and he now thinks that my daughter is going to be returned to us. I now dont know what to do- I have began to emotionally distance myself from my partner so that it wont hurt so much when it all comes out that our baby can't come home with us. I can't talk to him any more and sex now feels like part of a routine instead of an expression of how I feel. I'm actively planning my suicide for when all of this hits the fan because I honestly can't lose them both. I feel like I'm simply waiting to die now and it's affecting my ability to function on a daily basis. I don't want to eat or see any one, I don't bother with housework or washing myself. I've started drinking again and know I should stop but cant see the point of trying.. I just need some help and reassurance at the moment, if that's okay?