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I can't do this anymore.

ShatteredSecretsShatteredSecrets Posts: 186 Helping Hand
I am literally on the bloody edge right now. There seems to be nothing that is helping or working to make me feel better.
I can't do this anymore. It's just way too much to handle. Nobody listens, and if they do listen they don't understand.
I just don't know what to do anymore.

I am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

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    SarahRSarahR Posts: 213 Trailblazer
    Hi ShatteredSecrets

    I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so low at the moment. It sounds like you're feeling frustrated about what you feel is a lack of progress, which isn't being made any easier by also feeling misunderstood. Can you tell us more about what's happening for you at the moment? Has anything specific happened to make things particularly difficult over the last few days?

    We're here to listen so feel free to keep talking here today :)

    Sarah
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    ShatteredSecretsShatteredSecrets Posts: 186 Helping Hand
    Hi Sarah :wave:

    Everything has been happening to be honest. Yesterday was the worst day I have had in forever. It got so bad where I was honestly considering just ending everything. It just became way too much. I woke up this morning (after being up all night arguing with my boyfriend) feeling half dead but not overly terrible. I went out and saw a youth worker. Didn't talk about anything I suppose it was just to be around somebody "safe". I came home and the minute I step through the door I have abuse hurled at me for no reason at all. Screaming at me for something which I didn't do and wasn't my fault. But that's not exactly my biggest issue right now. I have no idea what's going on here. Everything seems so messy and nobody seems to understand me. I don't really know what to do or say or where to go for help. I don't know what I want. I just want all of this to go away.

    My anxiety and eating issues and self-destructive thoughts have been seriously peaking too. I'm trying to keep busy but it's just so hard and I don't want to put all my issues on to other people. It makes me feel so bad if I were to do that. It kinda feels like I'm in a put up, shut up, and suffer in silence kinda predicament right now.

    Sorry... Thanks for listening.

    - ShatteredSecrets

    I am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi ShatteredSecrets,

    Just like to give you a really big hug right now and sending you some kisses two xx

    I know we don't know what your going through and you feel like the world has ended for all of this to happen but I can promise you that your world hasn't ended and there is still hope.

    I see things at home and on the outside has been really tough to cope with without you feeling stressed and tired all the time.

    However, if you do feel like anything is getting on top of you then please seek emergency help straight away.

    Please remember also that you have us and were here anytime.

    Also if you can try and take your mind off things like having a hot bath, reading a book, listening to music or making a drink. This will help you feel a bit more relaxed and calm.

    All the best,

    Crazy Cat

    www.thesite.org.uk/mentalhealth
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey SS,

    Sorry to hear you have been arguing with your boyfriend and also had to deal with a lot of abuse at home. You mentioned things feel really messy and I wonder if it's overwhelming for you?

    I'm really glad you're posting here. We certainly don't want you to suffer in silence through any of this so do keep talking to us - how have the last few days been?

    I was really impressed to see you went to your youth worker, that shows resourcefulness and and an awareness of where you feel safe which is incredibly positive so give yourself some props for that. Having those safe havens amongst the chaos of life is so important for you - time to recharge and to have a break from all the pressures on you. I'd encourage you to make the most of that.

    You also mention that you're trying to keep busy - do you find that distractions help? What sorts of things do you like doing? It's really positive to have some solid coping techniques for when things get really hard.

    You mentioned in your other thread that you were getting a short course of counselling soon. I wanted to wish you all the best with that and do come and talk about what's coming up for you here if you'd like to. Counselling can be hard work and it can help to have some space to process and reflect outside of the sessions and also to plan what you will do after each one - ideally something kind for yourself like a walk, a phonecall with a friend, some easy TV - something to help you unwind. A bit like what happened with your friend when you opened up to her - having some ideas in place to look after yourself after each session or a safe place you can go could really help.

    Let us know how you're doing *hug*
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