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seeing a male gyno

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey,

So my gf is seeing a male gyno, and it makes me feel bad, is this normal for me to feel that way, I just wish she was seeing a woman, the thought of a man seeing her and touching her there, albeit for medical reasons, still makes me feel shitty.

Do I need a slap around the face, or is it understandable at least?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    That guy seen thousands of vaginas in all shapes and sizes with all kinds of oozes from all over the colour spectrum coming out of there. He is like a mechanic looking at your engine. He is completely emotionally disconnected from what he is looking at and your girlfriend will be too preoccupied mentally preparing for metal objects being shoved up her so I doubt she will consciously notice a difference in her doctors gender.

    Yes you need to get over yourself. The next thing is you getting jealous when she is hugging her father or what?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Agree with StrubbleS.

    1) The doctor is just doing his job
    2) Your gf's vagina isn't your property so no need to get jealous about it.

    Would you expect your gf to feel jealous if you saw a GP about a lump on your balls? Or a female doc about a STI?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Agreed with the above. The doctor is doing his job and has seen many females before.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I second all of the above. Try and support your girlfriend instead.

    Have you ever thought about getting help with your jealousy? It sounds like it can be quite intense so that must be pretty difficult for the both of you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can only suggest you seek urgent help about your jealousy and possessiveness.

    The doctor is doing their job, and it isn't your vagina, so wind your neck in.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I thank you all for your replies, however I do feel you have been a bit harsh because I do not relate this to jealousy etc at all.

    I am not jealous with her, she was out with a male friend last weekend and they went to London for a coffee and walk around, I don't care about things like that I totally trust her. She is free to do what she wants, she is totally open and honest.

    I think that a male putting his lubricated finger inside her vagina is very different from her hugging her dad.

    She can hug whatever male she feels she wants to hug.

    I just was feeling uneasy about another man doing it, and wondered if anyone else would feel that way.

    Thanks for letting me know I am in the minority and need to just get over it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    localboy wrote: »

    I think that a male putting his lubricated finger inside her vagina is very different from her hugging her dad.

    It's not a random man pulled in the street to do so - this will be a trained medical professional and he's not going to be post-wanking over sticking his finger in her vagina. He's there to do a job, it just so happens that his job involves female body parts. Maybe it's not jealousy, but you need to accept that the doctor is literally just doing his job. It's your girlfriend's vagina and her choice; if she's comfortable then so be it. She is within her rights to request a female, but you're not.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know you are right, it just made me feel horrible inside, I know its stupid really, but thanks for your advice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    He is not going to see this as a sexual thing. He's going to be thinking about any medical issues he might come across, how he can treat them and i hope my patient is comfortable and not in pain or feeling awkward.

    Afterwards he'll do the same thing with a load more female patients, write very objective, clinical notes about the state of their vaginas, go home, probably to his own wife or gf, have dinner and go back to bed so he can get up and do the same thing tomorrow. He's probably not going to remember her name, face or anything else about her.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's a medical procedure. How would you feel if you cannot get your prostate checked out because your GF does not want someone to stick his finger up your bum (yes, it still works that way, even in 2015)? What if she ever has an unviable, dangerous pregnancy and someone has to induce an abortion? Are you like "on the one hand it saves her life, on the other some stranger does stuff with her vagina, hmmm...."

    I don't understand how you can doubt yourself of letting someone have a medical procedure that is a necessity. It's like being miffed that your GFs poop stinks.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StrubbleS wrote: »
    It's a medical procedure. How would you feel if you cannot get your prostate checked out because your GF does not want someone to stick his finger up your bum (yes, it still works that way, even in 2015)? What if she ever has an unviable, dangerous pregnancy and someone has to induce an abortion? Are you like "on the one hand it saves her life, on the other some stranger does stuff with her vagina, hmmm...."

    I don't understand how you can doubt yourself of letting someone have a medical procedure that is a necessity. It's like being miffed that your GFs poop stinks.

    I know, I was being a dick!

    I am over it now...

    Thanks
  • Danny!Danny! mod Posts: 560 Incredible Poster
    I just wanted to add a slightly different perspective here - jealousy (which has many forms) is a difficult emotion, and not one we choose to have. It's also not rational.

    I think posting here is a really good way to check out your feelings about something.

    I agree with others that you don't have anything to worry about (if you were in the room with them, you would see how very unsexy it is). But I think the important thing here is how you act. If you shouted at your girlfriend for going to see a male gynecologist, or demanded that she see a woman, then you might "need a slap around the face". But seeing it as your reaction and something you need to check out and work on - I think that's a pretty good response to a situation that you find difficult.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    weren't you asking about having a threesome the other day? If you're getting jealous of her gyno I don't think a threesome would turn out well..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Danny! wrote: »
    I just wanted to add a slightly different perspective here - jealousy (which has many forms) is a difficult emotion, and not one we choose to have. It's also not rational.

    I think posting here is a really good way to check out your feelings about something.

    I agree with others that you don't have anything to worry about (if you were in the room with them, you would see how very unsexy it is). But I think the important thing here is how you act. If you shouted at your girlfriend for going to see a male gynecologist, or demanded that she see a woman, then you might "need a slap around the face". But seeing it as your reaction and something you need to check out and work on - I think that's a pretty good response to a situation that you find difficult.

    :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi localboy,

    I think it's great that you asked for advice and tried to sort out your feelings. I think you partly feel this way because you never seen a gynecological exam. It might be difficult to imagine that a man can touch a woman's intimate parts without any sexual thoughts but for a gynecologist who has probably seen thousands of vaginas there is nothing sexual in it during an exam and he focuses on medical stuff to look out for. As for a woman, it's often an unpleasant experience to go through but I guess guys are not very well informed about these stuff (which is understandable).
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