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Anxiety block.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm not too fussed if no one reads this, I just needed an outlet.
I've suffered anxiety for many years now, ranging from agoraphobia to paranoiawith OCD. I am currently at the paranoia and OCD stage. I fear being attacked. Why who and what is a long list, by everything and anyone. I hate being left alone as I feel vulnerable, alone and an easy target. I had my drink spiked just over a year ago and i refused to eat or drink anything. I had terrible nightmares and paranoia. I've progressed from there. I can eat and drink at home or with family but i cant eat or drink at restaurants or from shops when out. I can't eat or drink when alone.
I've made huge progress in many ways but now I'm stuck. I'm not moving forward, I'm not even taking small steps forward. I'm stagnant.
I feel alone a lot of the time because no one knows how I feel. I'm constantly scared, constantly evaluating my safety, constantly over thinking. Sleeping is hard. Working is hard. Trying to pretend I'm normal is hard. I have a wonderful supporting family who try their best to understand. I have great friends who never push me to do things I don't want to do. I have an incredible boyfriend who has held my hand through this for the last 8 months. He pushes me to go further but never too far that I go backwards.
But I'm stuck. I'm frustrated. I'm alone. I'm scared. I'm lost.
I don't know what to do.
I've suffered anxiety for many years now, ranging from agoraphobia to paranoiawith OCD. I am currently at the paranoia and OCD stage. I fear being attacked. Why who and what is a long list, by everything and anyone. I hate being left alone as I feel vulnerable, alone and an easy target. I had my drink spiked just over a year ago and i refused to eat or drink anything. I had terrible nightmares and paranoia. I've progressed from there. I can eat and drink at home or with family but i cant eat or drink at restaurants or from shops when out. I can't eat or drink when alone.
I've made huge progress in many ways but now I'm stuck. I'm not moving forward, I'm not even taking small steps forward. I'm stagnant.
I feel alone a lot of the time because no one knows how I feel. I'm constantly scared, constantly evaluating my safety, constantly over thinking. Sleeping is hard. Working is hard. Trying to pretend I'm normal is hard. I have a wonderful supporting family who try their best to understand. I have great friends who never push me to do things I don't want to do. I have an incredible boyfriend who has held my hand through this for the last 8 months. He pushes me to go further but never too far that I go backwards.
But I'm stuck. I'm frustrated. I'm alone. I'm scared. I'm lost.
I don't know what to do.
0
Comments
Welcome to TheSite. Really glad you found us! :hyper:
I'm sorry for what you have went through over the last couple of years. Many people are going through similar situations as you but you're very lucky to have such a supportive group around you to help you with your problems. It's great that your boyfriend and parents support you and are trying hard for you to overcome your fears and to just feel better again.
It's great to hear that you are making some small improvements. Don't get discouraged that you are improving slowly, you're still going in the right direction which is amazing.
Have you ever thought about seeing your GP about your anxiety? They might be able to help you greatly.
If you are nervous about going to your GP, the website docready can be of great help. That website is http://www.docready.org/static/client/index.html#/home
Let us know how things go! *hug*