Guilt

hgiah

I’ve been feeling so guilty about past hookups and casual sex I had a couple years ago I’m not like that anymore but I can’t seem to shake the guilt I have because of it. It’s been playing on my mind a lot recently does anyone have any advice?

sinead276

hey @hgiah - i can see you're new here so first of all welcome, its lovely to meet you.

I can see that you are struggling with the guilt of past hookups and casual sex. I just wanted to act as a little reminder as such that the past doesn't/shouldn't define you. I know for some people, casual sex is their thing - they prefer it to that in committed relationships - and that is totally fine. On the flip side, others prefer it to be less casual, and that's okay too.

I think society can often influence the levels of guilt people experience, with norms being commitment and less hookups. Although easier said than done, try to not let that past define you. You've said you're not like that anymore, suggesting you have been able to use that experience to change to something more comfortable for you. So instead of seeing the past as a bad thing, perhaps trying to reframe it as a learning experience could be an approach that works.

At the end of the day, there is no shame or badness around having had casual sex in the past, just like there is equally no shame in having changed that behaviour in your present and future. So try not to be too hard on yourself - you deserve to treat yourself with so much kindness and love.

Sending hugs
Sinead