Feeling Alone During Christmas

Redemption

As Christmas is coming up, I just wanted to remind people that you aren’t alone if you find this period hard. Christmas and the festive period often seem like a happy time on the surface, but I get that it isn’t always like that for all of us. I can relate myself, as I also find it difficult at times.

Christmas can be tough for many reasons. It can be hard seeing families getting together, dealing with money worries, loneliness, the cold weather and dark days, or even the end of the year and a new one approaching. It can also feel like time just flies past, and we might find ourselves thinking, “It’s Christmas already?” We might also find ourselves comparing our lives and families to others who seem happier, have bigger get-togethers, appear closer, or are more financially better off, and that can make things feel even heavier. It’s okay to have these thoughts and feelings.

For some of us, it can feel like another year has gone by where we’ve failed again, and we start questioning whether we’ve achieved enough or where the year has gone. I know that feeling myself, and I understand it actually can be common.

I just want to remind you that it’s absolutely okay to feel like this. Acknowledging that you’re not okay, or that the festive period is difficult for you, doesn’t make you weak. If anything, it takes strength to recognise it.

Most importantly, you’re not alone in feeling this way, even if it feels like it right now. To anyone struggling, you’ve been brave to get through another year and you should be so proud of yourselves. It does get better.

Here is some mental health support services for you all if you need:

https://kellysheroes.org.uk/ – Normally open 6 pm–10 pm Monday to Friday, and 6 pm–11 pm on weekends.
https://knus.io/ – Peer-to-peer support service. Someone will set you up with a peer, and chats are done through WhatsApp.
Shout – Text messaging service, open 24 hours. At night it can take a while to get through. Text 85258.
Phone service / Samaritans – Call 116 123. They also have a text service, but it only works for some: https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/
https://www.thecalmzone.net/get-support?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23334298930&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIx-aIycy6kQMVK5hQBh0pshfHEAAYAiAAEgL4CPD_BwE – Open 5 pm–12 am
https://www.papyrus-uk.org/contact-us/ – Open 24/7
For people under 19s: https://www.childline.org.uk/

Nemuritai

Thank you so much for this @Redemption, it's really reassuring to hear that and I'm sure it is for others as well

Christmas has always been a difficult time of year for me, though it's hard to pin down why. I don't get on well with my own family for certain reasons, so the expectation that we should be a 'happy family' and have lots of fun is kind of unrealistic for us and can be really hard to deal with. I just generally feel more depressed around Christmas, although I do like the cold weather, I find it comforting somehow.

I think it's important to allow yourself to not be okay, and like you said acknowledging it is a really strong thing to do sometimes. I personally find it helps to have things I can do on my own during the festive period, where there's no expectation of getting on with family members or necessary being happy if I don't want to. Also allowing yourself to feel whatever comes up is really helpful I think, especially around this time of year.

Azziman

Thank you for this @Redemption, it's a supportive and helpful thread to post. It's important to be kind to ourselves during these times as it can be difficult for many.

Redemption

Nemuritai wrote: »

Thank you so much for this @Redemption, it's really reassuring to hear that and I'm sure it is for others as well

Christmas has always been a difficult time of year for me, though it's hard to pin down why. I don't get on well with my own family for certain reasons, so the expectation that we should be a 'happy family' and have lots of fun is kind of unrealistic for us and can be really hard to deal with. I just generally feel more depressed around Christmas, although I do like the cold weather, I find it comforting somehow.

I think it's important to allow yourself to not be okay, and like you said acknowledging it is a really strong thing to do sometimes. I personally find it helps to have things I can do on my own during the festive period, where there's no expectation of getting on with family members or necessary being happy if I don't want to. Also allowing yourself to feel whatever comes up is really helpful I think, especially around this time of year.

No worries, thanks for the kind reply @Nemuritai . Im sorry you don't get on with your family and Christmas is hard for you. I agree though you can allow yourself to not be ok but you aren't alone and there's places to reach out too during these times. We are all here if you need anything. I hope you're doing ok today.

Redemption

Azziman wrote: »

Thank you for this @Redemption, it's a supportive and helpful thread to post. It's important to be kind to ourselves during these times as it can be difficult for many.

No worries @Azziman , thanks so much for the kind reply, I hope you're doing ok

Nemuritai

Redemption wrote: »

Nemuritai wrote: »

Thank you so much for this @Redemption, it's really reassuring to hear that and I'm sure it is for others as well

Christmas has always been a difficult time of year for me, though it's hard to pin down why. I don't get on well with my own family for certain reasons, so the expectation that we should be a 'happy family' and have lots of fun is kind of unrealistic for us and can be really hard to deal with. I just generally feel more depressed around Christmas, although I do like the cold weather, I find it comforting somehow.

I think it's important to allow yourself to not be okay, and like you said acknowledging it is a really strong thing to do sometimes. I personally find it helps to have things I can do on my own during the festive period, where there's no expectation of getting on with family members or necessary being happy if I don't want to. Also allowing yourself to feel whatever comes up is really helpful I think, especially around this time of year.

No worries, thanks for the kind reply @Nemuritai . Im sorry you don't get on with your family and Christmas is hard for you. I agree though you can allow yourself to not be ok but you aren't alone and there's places to reach out too during these times. We are all here if you need anything. I hope you're doing ok today.

Thank you, that's very kind. I hope you're doing okay as well