I want to kill myself

nem

Every time my mum talks to me I have an enormous spiral of thought “I want to kill myself”
And then I often cry
But I don’t enjoy that
I don’t enjoy having massive spirals of thoughts that I want to kill myself every single day of my life

Leyla

Hey @Nem, thank you for opening up about this. It sounds exhausting having these conversations with your mum to end up feeling so low afterwards, and you don't deserve to feel like this. I wonder what it is about your mum or chatting with her which might make you feel like this afterwards?

Would I also be able to check that you are safe at the moment and if you have any plans to act on these thoughts you are having every day about taking your life? You deserve support Nem, and the Community is listening.

Redemption

I hope you're safe @nem , please keep safe

nem

I wish I was not safe

nem

It’s too triggering living with them
I can’t go on

Leyla

Hey @Nem, I really hear how difficult you're finding living with them right now, I also know you were looking at house shares - I wonder how those went for you?

It sounds like you might be feeling safe even though you don't wish to be, which takes a lot of strength. Could you let us know if you have any intentions to act on these strong suicidal urges? The Community cares for you Nem, and we'll continue to be here to talk!