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hate me
toffuna101
Posts: 3,136 Boards Guru
'Cause you could fucking hate me and I would say I love you
---
Gertrude appears in my reflection of the mirror saying, "Everyone hates you ED."
I sigh, meeting her so-called gaze where the bandages covered her eyes and I would reply, "I know. And I hate myself too. But I love you."
"Why do you love me?" She asks, confused.
A twisted smile creeps up my face, "Because you made me feel powerful. But now that I'm taking my meds you don't write that world for me anymore. And now I'm no one."
Silence fills the room. It was almost as if she was thinking about something. Finally, she speaks, "You knew."
My smirk drops just as she says that, "You always say that. Knew what?"
There's no reply.
But still, I love her regardless of what she says. Because in truth, she's my only real life friend.
---
You could act just like that, I'm right here
---
"I'm right here Gertrude if you need me," I continue before going to sleep.
---
You could fucking hate me and I would say I love you
---
"We all hate you ED," Gertrude says the next night, glaring at me through the bandages as she uncovers them. The same green eyes that I have lingered on me.
---
You could act just like that, I'm not scared
---
But despite that, I wasn't scared. In fact, I felt comforted that someone took the effort to be pissed off at me like that.
---
You could fucking hate me and I would say I love you
---
"You're dead," Gertrude says, "You went to hell."
I smile, "I love you Gertrude."
"Fuck off," She snaps.
---
You could act just like that, I'm right here
---
I shrug, acting so casually about this whole situation when in reality this was serious.
---
You can try to break me and I would say I love you
---
One day, Gertrude would shout slurs at me, "You (slur)!"
"It's fine, I've been exposed to worse," I say, pretending to not act bothered by it.
---
I know I'm fucking broken, I'm right here
---
I hold my head with the palm of my hands, curled up on the bed as I try to get rid of Gertrude. As much as I tried to kill her with kindness, she always came back.
---
as i was writing this gertrude told me to fuck off. geez, i guess she didnt like me writing this.
---
Gertrude appears in my reflection of the mirror saying, "Everyone hates you ED."
I sigh, meeting her so-called gaze where the bandages covered her eyes and I would reply, "I know. And I hate myself too. But I love you."
"Why do you love me?" She asks, confused.
A twisted smile creeps up my face, "Because you made me feel powerful. But now that I'm taking my meds you don't write that world for me anymore. And now I'm no one."
Silence fills the room. It was almost as if she was thinking about something. Finally, she speaks, "You knew."
My smirk drops just as she says that, "You always say that. Knew what?"
There's no reply.
But still, I love her regardless of what she says. Because in truth, she's my only real life friend.
---
You could act just like that, I'm right here
---
"I'm right here Gertrude if you need me," I continue before going to sleep.
---
You could fucking hate me and I would say I love you
---
"We all hate you ED," Gertrude says the next night, glaring at me through the bandages as she uncovers them. The same green eyes that I have lingered on me.
---
You could act just like that, I'm not scared
---
But despite that, I wasn't scared. In fact, I felt comforted that someone took the effort to be pissed off at me like that.
---
You could fucking hate me and I would say I love you
---
"You're dead," Gertrude says, "You went to hell."
I smile, "I love you Gertrude."
"Fuck off," She snaps.
---
You could act just like that, I'm right here
---
I shrug, acting so casually about this whole situation when in reality this was serious.
---
You can try to break me and I would say I love you
---
One day, Gertrude would shout slurs at me, "You (slur)!"
"It's fine, I've been exposed to worse," I say, pretending to not act bothered by it.
---
I know I'm fucking broken, I'm right here
---
I hold my head with the palm of my hands, curled up on the bed as I try to get rid of Gertrude. As much as I tried to kill her with kindness, she always came back.
---
as i was writing this gertrude told me to fuck off. geez, i guess she didnt like me writing this.
2