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(Suicidal thoughts) can't snap out of my depressive episode
bignosegirly0
Posts: 409 Listening Ear
I'm currently safe.
I've been feeling extremely depressed since this Tuesday. I've been crying non-stop, feeling hopeless and wanting to kill myself. But what makes me feel worse is the fact that I can't properly kill myself. I'm a fucking pussy who bails out every time I make a plan.
"Oh, what if someone catches me during the act and I get sent to a psych ward and make my life worse?"
"Oh I hate how painful this is"
No one is going to magically save me. Realistically, suicide is the way out of the numerous depressive episodes I face on a daily basis.
Although I'm still functional, I can't help but feel this burdensome feeling weighing me down. When I'm with my family, when I'm at work, when I'm alone, when I'm at the gym, when I'm engaging in my hobbies, when I'm travelling at my favourite places, that depressing feeling follows me everywhere I go.