I’m never enough

AnonymousToe

All my parents can see is what I can’t do. They’re never happy with my achievements or anything, they just want more more more. I don’t know why I try so hard, when I know deep down I’ll absolutely never be enough for them, no matter what I do. I feel so worthless. I think they regret having me. I don’t get why that’s my fault. It hurts. I don’t belong anywhere, I’m too much and nobody wants the real me. I hate myself, because my parents taught me to. I don’t understand what’s so wrong with me. I do my best and it’s never enough. Everything is so hard. Why can’t they just be happy? Ever?!!

I want someone to love me as I am, without conditions. It hurts so much. I’m so stressed and scared for my uni exams because if I mess this up, i dont know what’s gonna happen to me.

Leyla

Hi Toe!!

Thank you so much for telling us this. It really does sound painful to have your parents be like this to you, because as you said, you are trying your absolute best and that's all anyone could expect of you, and it seems unfair for your parents to make you feel so low about yourself and how much you are worth. I know that they have made you feel otherwise, but you do have so much worth, both as an individual and as a friend, family member, community member etc. You bring so much just by being here. I wonder if it also comes as almost a betrayal considering it is from family?

I can imagine how deep that self-doubt could be when it sounds like they have always been like this and put pressure on you in all aspects of your life, does that sound fair to say?

It is SO understandable to what that unconditional love from somewhere, and it is something you deserve to be loved exactly as you are, and it doesn't sound like too much to ask. How has your uni year been so far? How has the preparation for exams been?

independent_

I could not agree more with Leyla on this one. Couldn’t have put it better myself.

You deserve so much more than what you’re getting from your family, you are truly a wonderful person and you deserve to be recognised for that and loved for who you are.

Redemption

@AnonymousToe I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. You’re absolutely not worthless you’re doing your best, and that’s enough. It’s not your fault your parents can’t see that. You deserve love without conditions, just for being you. You’re not alone in this, we are all here for you. Please be kind to yourself you matter and always will no matter what. We all care about you ❤️.

Invisible_me

Your not worthless and are important @AnonymousToe .. I know how you feel. Literally just today I had a good volunteering shift after while then came home and that was it wish I never came home, felt as if i wasn't goid enough, a burden abs it's horrible!! It breaks you when people close to you dont see tge acheivents you make uts like nothing is ever enough but maybe that's because they are pushing us for more..

shannon_164

hey @AnonymousToe 🙂

i’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. reading what you wrote honestly broke my heart, and i want you to know that none of this is your fault. you are doing your best in a situation that’s incredibly painful, and i see how hard you’re trying, even when it feels like no one else does.

you should never have to earn love, especially from your parents. that love should have been unconditional from the start. it’s not a reflection of your worth that they can’t see or celebrate you, it’s a reflection of their inability to love in the way you need and deserve. that’s on them, not you.

there is nothing wrong with you. you are not “too much” - the real you is not unlovable. you are a whole, valuable person, worthy of kindness, care, and love just as you are, without having to shrink yourself, prove yourself, or constantly strive to meet impossible expectations.

i know you’re under so much pressure right now, especially with exams coming up. please don’t carry the weight of your parents’ approval on top of that. these exams matter, but they don’t define your future or your worth, not even close! no grade can measure everything you are, or everything you’re fighting through just to keep going.

you don’t have to go through this alone. we care about you. we want the real you, not a version of you with all the rough edges sanded off, and i know there are people out there who will love and value you exactly as you are, you just haven’t met all of them yet.

please don’t be too hard on yourself. you’re not alone, ever! i’m so so proud of you

ameliawillsharevoice

@AnonymousToe I've learnt family isn't judged on blood/last name. It's who loves you deeply. I can say my foster mother doesn't seem to notice my good, only my bads. Sometimes I wonder if parents ignore their kids because they know they will have a better, happier life than them? Consider that we are here for your pains and that we could be classed as a sort of family. Being in uni and staying resilient during that is an amazing achievement and you should be proud of yourself! I know family is important but You are wonderful and never let a single person undermine how you are as a person. Remember. Life is shit but less shit with people!
(I also want to add that I believe you are doing so well to get into uni!)

Azziman

Hey @ameliawillsharevoice - this thread has had no replies for 8 months now so I'm going to close it. For future reference, it's best to only comment on discussions that are recently active (within a few weeks is a good general rule) - please do check the date of the last response before responding to check whether it's still active. Thanks!