I hate everything about being at home.
- I hate my siblings - constantly doing things that know annoy me or sticking their noses into my business and life.
- I hate my parents (mainly my mum)
- i hate not having my own space
- i don't feel it can be me
- i feel watched constantly - having my past haunt me when im trying to bury it
- it doesnt feel safe enough to cry or let any emotions out - must be numb or happy all day everyday
- no ine listens to my feelings
- my parents say they are "caring" and "supportive" and care if im "safe" but all they do 'care' about is that they look like good parents. When actually they make me feel like im defective (well i am) and just keep bring up past history of my mental health as abreast to keep me confined to the house at certain hours - dont allow me to have a life because they are "worried". I call bullshit
I just dont know how much longer I can cope with everything, i want everything to end, be quiet and be engulfed in darkness.
But can't do anything of that because then I'd be a failure and I'd be selfish.
- then my parents would regret how they treat me because they didn't see the signs
I can't seem to get anything right so why was I actually put here - taking a valuable life from someone who would have done so much more in this world than what i can do
Just going to cry and shrivel up and hope i die
I dont give a shit about life anymore- I just fuck it up for everyone around me. If im not here they can actually enjoy life and not "worry" about me.
