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Drowning in stress

RedemptionRedemption Posts: 4,036 Community Veteran
in Health & Wellbeing
I’ve been a bit of a mess today, sweating in bed and sweating with stress and drowning in stress. Ive been feeling overwhelmed for years now, trying everything to improve my situation, from applying for jobs to doing confidence courses and volunteering. But nothing seems to work, and I end up stuck in a cycle of stress, low mood, and hopelessness. I feel like I’m useless because I still don’t have a job, no routine, and am living at home. My goals seem distant, and I often wonder if I’ve done everything wrong. It’s hard not to feel like a failure, especially when the setbacks keep piling up. Even something as simple as getting lost on my way to my placement makes me feel like I can’t get anything right. Volunteering feels like endless work without any reward, and I’m constantly second-guessing myself.

I didn't have counselling this week because it was bank holiday again and while I’m grateful for the online support I have, the real change will come when I secure a job. But it’s been so tough, and every day feels heavy. I overthink everything, even negative comments from the past, and I feel like everyone thinks I’m a failure. I’m safe and not suicidal, but sometimes the weight of it all is overwhelming. The thought crosses my mind occasionally because I’m stuck in this constant cycle of frustration and disappointment, and I just don’t know how to get out of it.

Comments

  • AzzimanAzziman Discussion Boards Moderator Posts: 2,265 Boards Champion
    Hey @Redemption, sorry to hear what you've been going through lately. It sounds like you've had a difficult time. As you say, you've been taking some really good steps forwards, but at the same time, I can hear how not being able to get that job is weighing on your mind. It's valid to feel that some days are especially hard in this recurring situation. Are there any small things you can do to make yourself feel a little better when things feel especially tough? We're here to listen to you!
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  • RedemptionRedemption Posts: 4,036 Community Veteran
    edited May 7
    Azziman wrote: »
    Hey @Redemption, sorry to hear what you've been going through lately. It sounds like you've had a difficult time. As you say, you've been taking some really good steps forwards, but at the same time, I can hear how not being able to get that job is weighing on your mind. It's valid to feel that some days are especially hard in this recurring situation. Are there any small things you can do to make yourself feel a little better when things feel especially tough? We're here to listen to you!

    Thank you @Azziman really appreciate all the empathy, encouragement and kind words. I'll need to think of some small things that might be able to help, absolutely everything just seems so tough right now. Anyway cheers really appreciate it mate ❤️.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 32 Boards Initiate
    I know it's not a lot, but I'm in a similar position to you, and I recently started working out because there isn't really a lot to do otherwise. Just some weights and a bar for pull ups at home, and it's one of the things that doesn't really change my situation, but it does make it seem like i'm achieving something at the end of the day, rather than a day wasted with no progress made you know. And the feeling as though you've done something wrong, well, you haven't. The Job Market right now is a dead as the Dodo's. It's stuff that's completely out of our control, so don't feel like you've done something wrong or messed up. You can do everything right in today's world, and this is still the situation so many end up in. I can't promise anything, but feeling like i've advanced in something, even as small as building muscle up lol, is something that ease's the feeling of being stuck making no progress. Again, it might not work with you, but that's how i'm currently handling being in the same position mate, and i just wanted to give you this advice. And again, You're not a failure. If you were job hunting 20 years ago, you would have got one in an instant, it's just this market, not you.
  • RedemptionRedemption Posts: 4,036 Community Veteran
    DonnerKebab wrote: »
    I know it's not a lot, but I'm in a similar position to you, and I recently started working out because there isn't really a lot to do otherwise. Just some weights and a bar for pull ups at home, and it's one of the things that doesn't really change my situation, but it does make it seem like i'm achieving something at the end of the day, rather than a day wasted with no progress made you know. And the feeling as though you've done something wrong, well, you haven't. The Job Market right now is a dead as the Dodo's. It's stuff that's completely out of our control, so don't feel like you've done something wrong or messed up. You can do everything right in today's world, and this is still the situation so many end up in. I can't promise anything, but feeling like i've advanced in something, even as small as building muscle up lol, is something that ease's the feeling of being stuck making no progress. Again, it might not work with you, but that's how i'm currently handling being in the same position mate, and i just wanted to give you this advice. And again, You're not a failure. If you were job hunting 20 years ago, you would have got one in an instant, it's just this market, not you.

    Thanks so much bro ❤️
  • Rose113Rose113 Community Connector Posts: 3,430 Boards Guru
    Hey @Redemption i hope your doing okay today and if your not that is perfectly okay :)

    I don’t want to overwhelm you with a massive reply (if you’d like me to respond to your original post let me know) so I thought I would just check in and see how you are doing today and if there has been anything that have crept up :)

    Your doing really well
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • RedemptionRedemption Posts: 4,036 Community Veteran
    Rose113 wrote: »
    Hey @Redemption i hope your doing okay today and if your not that is perfectly okay :)

    I don’t want to overwhelm you with a massive reply (if you’d like me to respond to your original post let me know) so I thought I would just check in and see how you are doing today and if there has been anything that have crept up :)

    Your doing really well

    Thank you @Rose113 really appreciate the check in and kindness. Been really overwhelmed the previous days but feeling a bit better too thanks. Really appreciate your reply and really hope you have been OK ❤️.
  • Rose113Rose113 Community Connector Posts: 3,430 Boards Guru
    Hey @Redemption youve mentioned feeling overwhelmed the past few days, has there been anything you have done to relax when the overwhelm creeps up :)
    Sometimes when the people most like you don't love you, it is a hurt that can cause the greatest pain, and this pain can lead you to hate everything.
  • Sunflower123Sunflower123 Posts: 6 Confirmed not a robot
    I'm also in a similar situation. I had to quit my job of three years because of my worsening health. I am working a little with a family member at the moment but I am still having to look for another job. I feel for you, it is really hard. I also live at home and often feel like everyone else is moving on and I'm just stuck here and can't move forward. I still feel like a little girl trying to navigate an adult world and worry that will always be the case. It is overwhelming! I just wanted to let you know you aren't on your own. I also feel so overwhelmed by just general life. I'm not in a great place but I find making cards or baking things for people makes me happy. I like art and it is a nice escape from the stresses of life. It doesn't use too much of my energy and it makes me feel good doing little things for other people. It makes me feel like I'm not useless and for someone who doesn't feel good about myself, and constantly doubt my worth knowing that I have done something nice for someone else at least makes me feel like a good person which can be something positive to hold on to. I don't know if something like that would work for you. It doesn't have to be art, anything really. I just make sure theat I don't overdo even the nice things as they can still exhaust me. Hope this helps and if not I hope knowing that you are not alone makes you feel a little better.
    Wishing you all the best.😊
  • RedemptionRedemption Posts: 4,036 Community Veteran
    Rose113 wrote: »
    Hey @Redemption youve mentioned feeling overwhelmed the past few days, has there been anything you have done to relax when the overwhelm creeps up :)

    I have been quiet overwhelmed the past few days @Redemption there's a few things that I have done to relax, it can be hard but I'm getting there into work hopefully soon and everything. Hope you're ok this morning
  • RedemptionRedemption Posts: 4,036 Community Veteran
    Sunflower123 wrote: »
    I'm also in a similar situation. I had to quit my job of three years because of my worsening health. I am working a little with a family member at the moment but I am still having to look for another job. I feel for you, it is really hard. I also live at home and often feel like everyone else is moving on and I'm just stuck here and can't move forward. I still feel like a little girl trying to navigate an adult world and worry that will always be the case. It is overwhelming! I just wanted to let you know you aren't on your own. I also feel so overwhelmed by just general life. I'm not in a great place but I find making cards or baking things for people makes me happy. I like art and it is a nice escape from the stresses of life. It doesn't use too much of my energy and it makes me feel good doing little things for other people. It makes me feel like I'm not useless and for someone who doesn't feel good about myself, and constantly doubt my worth knowing that I have done something nice for someone else at least makes me feel like a good person which can be something positive to hold on to. I don't know if something like that would work for you. It doesn't have to be art, anything really. I just make sure theat I don't overdo even the nice things as they can still exhaust me. Hope this helps and if not I hope knowing that you are not alone makes you feel a little better.
    Wishing you all the best.😊

    It is really tough at times, sorry to hear everything has been tough for you but we'll both get through it. I wish the best for you too, thanks so much sunflower.
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 1,321 Wise Owl
    @Redemption , hey, how are you today? I wanted to check in off the back of your thread here. It sounds like you were going through an extreamly overwhelming time, and I really heard that feeling of helplessness. It sounded as though those self-doubts were getting really loud, and you were really questioning whether or nor you're a faliure. Those are some deeply painful beliefs to be feeling, and again, thank you so much for opening up and for being so honest.

    It really does feel like you've had to contend with so much lately, and I hear how draining it is to go through life day-to-day and to feel like your goals are not getting any closer. You mentioned that sometimes a part of you wonders if you have 'done everything wrong', and I wondered what you mean by this?

    We're all here for you and rooting for you, hoping that the change you're working so incredibly hard for will come very soon. You deserve nothing less!
  • RedemptionRedemption Posts: 4,036 Community Veteran
    Sian321 wrote: »
    @Redemption , hey, how are you today? I wanted to check in off the back of your thread here. It sounds like you were going through an extreamly overwhelming time, and I really heard that feeling of helplessness. It sounded as though those self-doubts were getting really loud, and you were really questioning whether or nor you're a faliure. Those are some deeply painful beliefs to be feeling, and again, thank you so much for opening up and for being so honest.

    It really does feel like you've had to contend with so much lately, and I hear how draining it is to go through life day-to-day and to feel like your goals are not getting any closer. You mentioned that sometimes a part of you wonders if you have 'done everything wrong', and I wondered what you mean by this?

    We're all here for you and rooting for you, hoping that the change you're working so incredibly hard for will come very soon. You deserve nothing less!

    @Sian321 I'm ok thanks, hope you are. I guess I mean by done verything wrong that i feel I can't do anything right in life. Thanks so much for your very kind comment sian, so nice from you as always.
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