Small vent (not important tho)

Rose113

I don’t want to be here anymore but I’m stuck, because I have a family I’m stuck, “friends” need me so I’m stuck but I’m tired I’m fk’n drained. I can’t hurt the people that I love but they can hurt me, over and over I’ll let them. I’m nothing but a stupid worthless cunt that can see bad situations but still stay, I stay in one sided friendships, I stay in toxic and gaslighting friendships. I have no one but people confide in me. People expect my help constantly. 4 suicidal friends, 2 of them evidently hate me and the other 2 expect me to be there lifeline, vents 24/7, constantly having to call emergency services because they disclose stuff that I can’t keep to myself and then they get angry. I’m not a crisis worker but it sure feels like I am one when I’ve got a safety plan for them and a google doc titled “risk assessing”. I can’t do it anymore, I can’t cope but have to mask for the sake of others because after 10pm my struggles aren’t acceptable. Boundaries are non existent they don’t get followed no matter how much I reinforce them

If you read to the end then sorry for boring you and wasting your time 🙃

Redemption

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way, I know things have been really tough for you, then all of this, but I'm glad you're reaching out here. It will get better. Please, please keep safe. You deserve support too.

shannon_164

hey @Rose113 🙂

i’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. you’re not boring us or wasting our time, we all care about you, and we hate that you’re feeling this drained and stuck.

it sounds like you’re carrying so much weight on your shoulders, and it’s completely understandable that you’re exhausted. no one should have to take on this much alone.

you are not worthless. you are clearly someone who deeply cares about others, but that doesn’t mean you should have to sacrifice yourself in the process. it isnt fair that people expect you to be their lifeline without considering the toll it takes on you. you deserve support too.

i know it feels impossible to step back, especially when people rely on you, but you matter just as much as they do. your struggles are just as important. if boundaries aren’t being respected, then maybe it’s time to put yourself first, even if that means stepping away from certain dynamics that are hurting you. it doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you human.

i know things feel overwhelming right now, but you don’t have to go through this alone. please reach out to someone who can help if you feel you need to, whether that’s a professional, a helpline, or even just someone who can truly listen and support you for a change - you deserve that!

we’re all so so proud of you

Rose113

I can’t step back they refuse helpline help and if I do step away all they do is go off and do shit to themselves and then message me again to tell me what they’ve done.

shannon_164

i hear you @Rose113 i really do, but it’s important to realise, as harsh as it sounds, you are never ever going to be able to help someone no matter what you do and how hard you try if they do not want to help themselves and accept help. you are clearly doing a lot to try and help them, so this isn’t at all me trying to say you’re not doing good enough as it’s so clear to see how much you are trying, however, in this type of situation, it’s not going to be good enough for them as they are helping themselves and accepting help. i know that’s really harsh, but it’s the reality unfortunately.

it’s really unfair that they put this all on you - you shouldn’t have to be dealing with all this, on top of everything else you have on!!

always here for you