Mental health appointment

Lottie5433

Um in dont really know what to write really.

Today whilst at work i recieved an email from CEDT with an appointment date for my assessment with them. I am seeing them on the 22nd April at 10am, the only good thing about this is that it's online and I can do it from the comfort of my own house/bedroom. But I'm anxious and nervous about it I'm not sure why I am though.

Ive already had 2 mental health assessments, 1 eating disorder assessments and an assessment with CEDT (denied though) - so im not really sure why I'd be anxious or nervous about it. It not like im not unfamiliar with them.

I guess what im really nervous about is what will be said or spoken about. Like from what my first one was about it was about my self harm, suicidal thoughts and actions and then more about my safety, like what helps me keeps safe: to which a safety plan was created.
But this one just feels slightly more anxiety inducing - like just based on what's on my RIO notes (from what ive heard that my therapist has wrote about) i just feel like i won't be able to answer their questions or that i won't beable to explain/articulate what has gone on or lead to some of my behaviours.

Im also worried that they might give me another diagnosis as that's what has been discussed previously. Im not sure how I feel about it: there was talks that I could have a personality disorder and I dont know what this will really mean.

Then there is the whole thing that all this is happening a month before I'm supposed to fly out to America. I'm worried this my affect me going out or affect the treatment options. Initially I was told that I could have an assessment and then it could be a few months before I actually start treatment and in the meantime I'd have wellbeing calls from their team etc. But what if I get treatment through sooner , Like if I have therapy it means I'd be without it for 3 months which seems pointless in even starting it if that is the case. But then if I have to wait i feel like I might not go back or will be further down their list for treatment.

I just really don't know how I feel about it all.

Ive been waiting for 6 months for something to happen with this

I guess in just anxious, nervous and scared for this to happen

Tbh i don't know why I made this post
I guess i just wanted to off load all my thoughts about this whole situation

shannon_164

hey @Lottie5433 🙂

that makes total sense, and i’m really glad you felt able to offload. there’s a lot going on here, and i completely understand why you’re feeling anxious, nervous, and unsure about it all. even though you’ve been through assessments before, that doesn’t mean this one won’t bring up a whole new set of emotions, especially with everything that’s been written in your notes and the possibility of a new diagnosis being discussed.

it sounds like there’s a lot of uncertainty around what this assessment might mean for you, whether it leads to a diagnosis, treatment options, or even how it might impact your plans for america, and uncertainty is hard. it’s completely understandable that you’d be feeling on edge about it, even if you can’t pinpoint exactly why.

with the diagnosis side of things, i get why that’s unsettling. labels can feel overwhelming, especially when they’re attached to something like a personality disorder, but whatever comes up in this assessment doesn’t change who you are. it’s just about helping you get the right support, not defining you as a person. you are so much more than any diagnosis.

the timing with america is definitely another layer of stress. i get why it’s frustrating, not knowing whether treatment will start before you go or if you’ll end up waiting longer. i guess one way to look at it is that either way, you’re hopefully not being left without support. it treatment starts before you go, you’ll have at least some input before the trip, and if it gets delayed, that doesn’t mean you won’t still be on their radar when you return. though i completely understand why that limbo is making everything feel even more overwhelming.

it’s ok to not know how you feel about all of this yet. you don’t have to have everything figured out right now. just know that whatever happens, you’re not facing it alone. you’ve been waiting six months for something to happen, and now that it finally is, of course, it’s going to bring up a mix of emotions, but no matter what comes from this, you’ll handle it, just like you’ve handled so much already.

always here for you