worried for this week

struggling0_0

i’m so worried about how this week is going to go. i’m off college for half term therefore lose all structure to my week. i was going to go to the library however i seen something about the campus im in and another campus being closed over half term for staff training but the other campus library is open though ive only been there once, which was just over 5 years ago when applying for college the first time i went at their open day. i would be so anxious about going there because it’s a way bigger library and i don’t have ‘my’ seat lol plus i know all the staff, and layout etc at my usual library.

my sister is off college (still working a few shifts, i think? she has ignored my existence for 2 days now…) and my mum is off work. i hope that they both go out over half term so i don’t feel completely stuck in my room i guess (if i go downstairs it’s so awkward as no one will speak to me atm as im just a big inconvenience lol)

i have a LOT of college to get done, but im struggling so much with it plus finding the motivation too it’s so difficult because i really am struggling a lot currently. i have stuff due on tuesday (even though we’re off lol) and yeah i dont even understand it still. i have to do 2 essays, ive wrote half an essay so far and can assure you it is wrong - i feel so silly as she genuinely is an amazing teacher (teaching wise and in terms of being supportive) and cannot make it any easier for us, her essay plan has all the info we need to include, what powerpoint slides & textbook pages for each thing etc so i cannot ask her for help because she’s made it so so easy already. i genuinely don’t get it though.

idk what im going to do as usually to cope, to avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms, i sleep. i cant sleep for a week straight, i wish i could haha but thats unrealistic, im not going to be able to do that… ive spent today trying to sleep but ive been unable to. i feel so pathetic forreal.

Orchid059

It sounds like you're going through an incredibly stressful time right now, with so many factors contributing to your anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed. It's totally understandable that you're feeling lost with so much uncertainty and pressure, especially with everything going on this week.

The fact that your routine has been disrupted with college being off and your family at home makes everything feel even more unsettled. The library situation adds another layer of anxiety, especially with it being unfamiliar and bigger than the place you’re used to. I can imagine how tough that must feel, especially when you rely on certain spaces for a sense of control and comfort. Feeling out of place in a new environment is so hard, especially when you’re already dealing with a lot of emotional weight.

And the pressure of your assignments — especially with the essays due soon and the difficulty you're having in understanding the material — adds a huge amount of stress. It’s really hard to feel like you should understand something when the resources and instructions are already clear, but you’re still struggling. You’re not alone in feeling that way, though. A lot of people have moments where they feel stuck despite doing everything “right.” It doesn’t mean you’re not trying hard enough or aren’t capable. Sometimes, when we’re overwhelmed, our brains just can’t process the information in the way we want them to.

As for your family dynamics, I hear how awkward and isolating it must feel right now with your sister ignoring you and the tension with your mum being home. It's a tough environment to be in when you're already feeling like you're struggling, and it makes everything feel even more isolating. It’s hard to find your own space and peace when you feel like others aren’t supporting you, even if it’s not intentional.

I hear you when you say you don’t want to resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms, and it’s clear that you care a lot about taking care of yourself even when things are tough. It’s hard when your usual coping mechanisms aren’t working, like sleep, and you can’t find that escape from the pressure. It doesn’t make you pathetic at all, though — it makes you human. Everyone has moments where things just don’t come together the way they’re supposed to, and it's okay to struggle. It doesn’t define you or your worth.

In terms of your college work, maybe breaking it down into smaller, more manageable steps could help, even if it feels like a slow start. You don’t have to get it perfect all at once, especially when you’re feeling so overwhelmed. You’re doing your best, and that's enough. If the assignment feels too much right now, could you break it down into tiny pieces? Maybe even just focus on one sentence or paragraph at a time? Little steps, rather than trying to tackle the whole thing at once, might make it feel less impossible.

And, with the family situation, is there any way to carve out a bit of time for yourself — even if it's just a few minutes — where you can feel a little more in control of your environment? Maybe it’s taking a walk, or even just stepping outside for a bit of space, or finding something small that brings you comfort when things feel overwhelming.

You’re doing the best you can right now, and I really believe that things can improve even though it feels hard right now. I’m really glad you’re reaching out to talk about it, because it shows strength. You’re not alone in feeling like this, and it’s okay to be in this tough place. You don’t have to be perfect right now, and you don’t have to do everything alone.