Discouraged about sharing my experiences in the Discussion Boards

Creativeboy23

Hello.

About a month ago, I responded to a comment on one of my threads and did not receive a response. I messaged the moderator directly to ask them to a reply to my post and spoke to another moderator about how it made me feel. She told me to refrain from messaging the mod directly to ask them for a response and explaining how the discussion boards work and availability contributing to the lack of response. Her message, particularly her comment felt very personal, making me view myself negatively. I shared how I felt with her but she did not respond which made me feel ignored. Since the situation, I have been feeling discouraged about sharing my experiences in the community.

I have tried to reassure myself that it is okay to feel ignored and discouraged by the moderator's message. I understand that while it felt personal, others have likely had similar experiences, and it is possible the moderator did not intend it that way. She wanted to try to explain the rules about contacting moderators and prepare me for the possibility of future posts not getting responses. I tried to remember that everyone has misunderstood a rule, and that the mistake does not define me. I know I am worthy of love, but the message still felt personal. Even if the intention was good, it could have been delivered more considerately.

Rose113

Hi @Creativeboy23

I’m sorry you feel you had a negative experience however We should also not voice issues like this publicly and to always contact the staff team through the mix account or you can use this form https://bit.ly/TheMixFeedbackForm

I hope you can have a better experience soon and be able to clear this up with the staff team

Creativeboy23

Hello @Rose113.

I am sorry. I will remember that in future but I just wanted to express my feelings. Although what you said was nothing personal, it has just reinforced the feeling of discouragement in sharing my feelings in the discussion boards and diminished past validation of my feelings in the community.

I hope so too. Thank you for the form.

shannon_164

hey @Creativeboy23 i don’t think you have anything to be sorry for, you shared how you feel which is sooo valid and i really do hear you, it’s just unfortunate that the reality of the mix is being unable to share your feelings if you are upset in any way about the mix:( i hope things can feel a little better for you<3

Rose113

Sorry @Creativeboy23 i didn’t want you to get in trouble for sharing your feelings around the discussion boards and other things related

Creativeboy23

Hello @shannon_164.

I agree with you. It is ashame.

I hope they do too.

Faolan

I imagine the moderator would’ve had a generic message to copy and paste to protect you both in the private chat. You didn’t necessarily do anything wrong though.

You should be allowed to discuss these things here. Your feelings are always valid and we want to support you with them.

I hope you continue to use the boards because you deserve support

Creativeboy23

Hello @Rose113.

It is fine. I appreciate your concern.

independent_

Not to minimise this whatsoever as I completely understand how you feel, but most moderators have their direct PMs switched off. You used to be able to PM individual mods back in the old, old days.. but this hasn’t been the case for probably nearly 10 years. I believe the reason they gave was that it meant you would get a response much more quickly as any of the staff team could reply to you, and boards moderators are volunteers so they won’t be online too often. So it is always worth sending this sort of thing over to the main @TheMix account, where they can have a look behind the scenes. If you did feel a message was personal in any way, you can also forward it on to the same account.

Please don’t take it as a reflection on yourself. How you feel is totally valid, but we all want to support you. If you ever find a thread hasn’t had a response, you can always post in it again to bump it back to the top of what’s new (I don’t think there are any rules against this).

Sian321

Hey @Creativeboy23 , thank you for making this post. I really appreciate your trust and honesty and can assure you that your feelings are welcome here.

As a staff team, we take accountability for you feeling ignored, and are so sorry that this has been the case. I can hear too that the language with which the moderator shared their reminders about our guidelines felt inconsiderate, and as a result you've been working hard to remind yourself that mistakes do not define you, you are so worthy of love, and you have a right to speak out. Again, that sounds hard, and while it hasn't been our intention to personally call you out, we hear that might have been the impact.

Thank you for hearing our rules about contacting moderators. We want to do our best to be as attentive as possible, and being able to have a two-way conversation about this is really useful. You are valued here. You deserve support

shannon_164

this is not at all anything to do with the person who posted this thread, pls don’t take it that way but i’m just wanting to pop a message on to ask why is the mix actually so inconsistent…? when i shared on boards how i felt ignored my thread was practically closed immediately, not at all long after i posted, yet someone else can post with effectively the same context of feeling ignored and it’s not closed or nothing. how is that even fair that when i share i feel ignored im shut down immediately but its ok for someone else to share feeling ignored…?

again, this is NOT at all aimed at the person who has made this thread, i promise. i just don’t understand how it was one rule for me and a different rule for someone else, surely it should remain consistent…?

i’m sorry.

Sian321

Hi @shannon_164 , I hear you and your frustration. That is entirely valid, and I want to acknowledge what you're saying too about how inconsistent things can feel at times. I can imagine that is very confusing, and as a Community you deserve clarity because that's cruicial for creating a space here which feels truly holding.

We're working hard as a team to take this feedback on board and continue improving our services. I really do hear just how tough things have been feeling and we empathise with that, we care, and we feel it with you.

We're here and in DMs for support, as well as via our new feedback form here: https://forms.office.com/Pages/ResponsePage.aspx?id=Rv-1Tzdou0C_sANOJmVSg_H1kdu0bzdJrX0d5dO2lRNURFc4STc4UklTVkg0WFBYVEw2OENLN1dOVCQlQCN0PWcu

shannon_164

@Sian321 thanks for the reply but any of the times i’ve said i feel ignored on here im given hints and tips on how not to be ignored and told to join chats, use boards, reply to people blah blah blah, all what i do and have been doing so no point wasting my time saying again. on that note, why when someone else shares feeling ignored do you respond saying “ As a staff team, we take accountability for you feeling ignored, and are so sorry that this has been the case.” however i just get a step by step guide on things i ALREADY have been doing. there is 0 consistency when it comes to the mix, that’s one thing i’ve picked up on since day 1 of discovering the mix. it depends who you are clearly in terms of what you can do and say, and what you can’t do and say - it’s ok for some people but not for others and that is SO clear.

Sian321

Hey @shannon_164 , I hear you. What you're saying makes sense, and we see and recognise this too as a staff team.

Feeling ignored in a space that you care about and invest a huge amount of time into is painful, and we really do want to hear your thoughts and feelings, including feelings of being let down by us.

Everyone deserves to be treated equally here. That is paramount. We really don't wish to be defensive or dismissive, but rather, to work with you collaboratively and to put up our hands where we can be doing better. You each deserve nothing less.

We are going to close this thread now to invite each of you to DM us with any questions regarding our moderators / our staff-team, and you are also invited to share feedback via our form here: https://bit.ly/TheMixFeedbackForm