Am I bisexual or straight?

bignosegirly0

Throughout my life, my sexuality has been fluid and changes from straight to lesbian. But at around 16, I was sure that I was bisexual.

I was equally attracted to both men and women, and I didn’t care who I would end up in a relationship with.

But due to my years of being constantly bullied by men, making me crave their approval, my attraction to women has suddenly dropped. I still have a small attraction to women, but it’s very small.

In my mind, I’m convinced that if I don’t get approval from a man, then I’ve failed as a woman.

If I had no other option, I would still date a woman. But because I’m convinced my worth in life is based on how men view me, I would still crave to be approved by a man.

If I didn’t have this mindset due to bullying, I wouldn’t care whether I ended up with a man or woman.

Am I bisexual or a straight woman in denial?

shannon_164

hey @bignosegirly0 - it sounds like you’ve put a lot of thought into this, and genuinely, i don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer here.

sexuality is complex, and outside influences, like bullying can definitely shape how we see ourselves and what we seek in relationships, however, that doesn’t mean your past attractions weren’t real or that your feelings now are any less valid.

from what you’ve shared, it seems like your attraction to women hasn’t disappeared entirely, but your need for male approval has become a big factor in how you view relationships. that doesn’t mean you’re “straight in denial”, it just means you’re dealing with layers of emotional conditioning that make it hard to separate what you genuinely want from what you feel you should want.

maybe instead of focusing on a label right now, you could give yourself space to explore how you feel without pressure? no matter what, your experiences and feelings are real, and you don’t owe anyone a definitive answer. you’re allowed to exist in the uncertainty and figure it out on your own terms🩷