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feeling like a bad person
eylah
Posts: 5,943 Part of The Furniture
i feel rly shit tonight bc i feel rly useless/worthless rn i feel like im just rly useless atm which is making me rly sad. im also trying my best to keep myself busy from my mind but thats just playing me up bc im hating myself so much. im trying to support everyone i can but im feeling rly crap myself so finding it rly hard to help everyone constantly. i know i cant support everyone if im not feeling gd myself but i cant help it i cant bc you guys matter so much but im just sry.
i know this post is pointless but im trying my best in this psych ward to work with staff and to get back on my antipsychotic meds which i have done im going on the depo injection next week bc then when im discharged from hospital im not at huge risk from things. but idk being in hospital has rly helped but i just feel rly isolated which is making everything worse for me bc i want to go for walks etc but cant bc im on 1-2-1 which is shit. but hopefully going on escorted leave with staff limits that.
i did a rly positive thing today by keeping myself safe but that was very hard bc i have had huge urges but kept myself safe today which is gd. but my head is so dreadful i hate my head i hate my brain i hate everything. im very tired im exhausted but it just sucks it rly does. but im just wanting to get out of here but i cant discharge myself bc on a section 2 but im trying.
im trying not to feel like a shit person rn but im just having a low day today which is crap but can’t help it.
a useless post once again but hey whatever i just needed to offload. 🥲
i know this post is pointless but im trying my best in this psych ward to work with staff and to get back on my antipsychotic meds which i have done im going on the depo injection next week bc then when im discharged from hospital im not at huge risk from things. but idk being in hospital has rly helped but i just feel rly isolated which is making everything worse for me bc i want to go for walks etc but cant bc im on 1-2-1 which is shit. but hopefully going on escorted leave with staff limits that.
i did a rly positive thing today by keeping myself safe but that was very hard bc i have had huge urges but kept myself safe today which is gd. but my head is so dreadful i hate my head i hate my brain i hate everything. im very tired im exhausted but it just sucks it rly does. but im just wanting to get out of here but i cant discharge myself bc on a section 2 but im trying.
im trying not to feel like a shit person rn but im just having a low day today which is crap but can’t help it.
a useless post once again but hey whatever i just needed to offload. 🥲
ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
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Comments
i know you have said you’re feeling like a bad person and that you are useless and worthless but i promise you that you’re not eylah, im sure everybody here would agree with me - you’re such an amazing person that makes the world, and this community a much better place - you help so so many people here by hearing what they’re going through, being supportive of their situation and all your helpful threads of positivity and reminders - you do SO much good in this world eylah and i hope you’re proud of yourself for doing so much for others, especially when you are going through such a challenging time yourself!!
you’ve said that keeping yourself was very hard as you had huge urges today - i understand how difficult that can be eylah so i genuinely am SO proud of you for being able to do that as i know that it takes a lot!!
you’re doing so so well eylah and im really proud of you - you’ve got this🫶🏻
always here for you x