Have I lied to my boyfriend

user123

I told my boyfriend I went for coffee with someone from uni (before I met him) and I didn’t perceive this as a date and that he was my first date. But I met this guy on bumble, though he does go to the same uni as me this wasn’t how we met. I still don’t perceive it as a date but if I now say it was with a guy I met on bumble would that change the narrative?
Can someone please help. I feel like I’ve unintentionally been dishonest and feel so bad about it

Riley_2001

Hey @user123 ☺️
I can certainly understand why this may be stressing you out and you feel as though you’ve been unintentionally dishonest with your boyfriend. Please do correct me if I’m mistaken but you went for the coffee with the other guy before you met your boyfriend? You also didn’t perceive it as a date in the first place. Sure, you may have met on Bumble and that’s okay, but that doesn’t make it a date. If this isn’t causing any issues within your relationship, I personally wouldn’t mention it. It’s not blatant dishonesty nor disloyalty and no wrongs have intentionally or even unintentionally been made.
If you and your boyfriend have open communication and this isn’t any issue at all, again, i personally wouldn’t mention it.
If you do wish to mention it, explain that, yes, you met this individual from Bumble but you didn’t see this as a date nor agreed to it being a date, and no further relationship or connection was made.

I hope this can provide you with some perspective or peace of mind. ☺️

user123

@Riley_2001 thanks for your reply! Yes that’s right I went for the coffee before I met my boyfriend. The guy I went for coffee with also was from the same uni as me so when I said I met a guy from uni for coffee was that therefore true? I just didn’t mention we met on Bumble. It’s not causing any issues in my relationship all I told my boyfriend was I met someone from uni for a coffee and I didn’t think of it as a date. We do have really open communication and I feel I can talk to him. But I would be nearly making it seem like there was more to the coffee if I mention it again. I don’t want to make it seem like it’s a big deal by re mentioning it and bringing it up again. I just feel really stressed. Is it vital information to share? I’ve been advised that it isn’t but I can’t shake this feeling of guilt right now

Riley_2001

@user123
Indeed, I thought so. I just wanted to make sure I was correct. Honestly, I understand the guilt. And it shows you truly love and care for him. It’s lovely to see. But, again, I don’t see it as very important to mention as it’s not causing any issues within your relationship. I’m glad you feel safe, comfortable and able to discuss openly in your relationship with him. I do agree that’s it’s not a big deal that you didn’t mention the Bumble aspect of the meeting. You didn’t have any real intention with the coffee you had with him anyway.

Be kind to yourself, remember that you didn’t do anything wrong and treat yourself lovingly, like I’m sure he does with you. ☺️ It’s okay to feel guilt, but you didn’t and haven’t done anything wrong within your relationship.