I’m a monster

Rose113

I’m a monster…I feel like one, I get so worked up over nothing, I get angry easily, I can’t control my emotions…I’m a demon…I’m horrible, I’m nasty…I don’t deserve to be here…I don’t deserve to be around anyone or to have friends…I’m a monster, I’m evil…

Sian321

Hey @Rose113 , it sounds like you're dealing with some really, really loud self-critical thoughts right now, which can be extreamly tough. I hear how angry you're feeling towards yourself, and that a part of you feels you don't deserve to be here. That's an incredibly painful thought to have, and I wonder if you feel safe tonight?

I know you said that you get worked up over 'nothing,' but different things will upset and overwhelm different people, and you've done nothing wrong for feeling this way. Our emotions can be SO all-consuming sometimes, and they don't have to make 'sense' to other people in order to be valid Is there something that has made you angry this afternoon?

If you do feel overwhelmed this evening at all and would like more space to talk, these places are here for you:

The Mix's Crisis Messenger text service provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you’re aged 25 or under, and are experiencing a personal crisis, are unable to cope and need support, you can text THEMIX to 85258. Their trained volunteer will introduce themselves, reflect on what you’ve said, and invite you to share at your own pace. You’ll text back and forth, only sharing what you feel comfortable with. They can deal issues such as Suicidal thoughts, abuse or assault, self-harm, bullying, relationship breakdown. You can find out more about it at https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support/speak-to-our-team/crisis-messenger.

Samaritans are there for you 24/7. They offer a listening service and emotional support to anyone about any issue. You can call the helpline for free on 116 123 or email at jo@samaritans.org. You can also write them a letter and you can find details on their website. Some of their branches offer face to face services and you can find your local branch on their website. For more information you can go to www.samaritans.org.

I'm sending the biggest hug, @Rose113

Rose113

@Sian321 im safe I promise. A specific person really

Laura_tigger82

We are glad you are safe @Rose113. Would you like to talk to us more about this?

Rose113

@Laura_tigger82 people in real life make me wish I didn’t have a voice cos they make me feel so crap when I use it

Laura_tigger82

Oh no @Rose113. We are super glad you have a voice and are able to use it - your voice is really important! Even though other people make you feel so crap when you use it. Are there particular things they do/say that make you feel this way?

Rose113

@Laura_tigger82 they don’t listen to me, they ignore me and it’s only ever about them but when I help them they don’t listen to me for the help

shannon_164

@Rose113 how you feel is so so valid but you’re most definitely not a monster!! you’re such an amazing person that makes such a difference to the world🩷sending so much love your way✨

Faolan

For what it’s worth @Rose113 , a monster would never recognise that they’re a monster. They’re a monster because they don’t care and they lack empathy. You’ve shown the exact opposite here.

You’re not a monster, you’re human with very real and intense emotions.

Rose113

Thank you @shannon_164 and @Faolan