Stuck in a circle

Rose113

I have a “friend” that has mental health issues like me which at first they were never like this so I’m starting to think I’m the cause of it now

TW/ what I’m about to say is a very personal topic for me and something I find hard to talk about but yeah here goes

A couple of years ago when I was speaking to this person I age regressed to them on accident and they started copying which at first I thought maybe it was a coincidence but then one time I lost my memory because if you know you’ll know I have 2 types of age regression and my memory loss one is the one I consider unsafe but anyway I lost my memory once to him and what happened the next day…he lost his memory and copied everything that I had said over messages when I’d lost my memory which as you can tell that hurt

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Also recently I told him that I’d just found out that have bpd and then a few days after he self diagnosed saying he has bpd…he also says he has autism and adhd but his parents can’t get him a diagnosis…

So then after that event we lost contact for a bit as I just couldn’t deal with his manipulation and then last year we made contact again and I wanna say it’s better now but it just isn’t. He won’t accept mental health support but expects me to be the equivalent of his life boat and to be able to fix him which I can’t. I’ve tried endlessly, I tried setting boundaries with him in a calm manor but he ignored them

See screenshot below for what I sent him not to long ago about boundaries…

When I sent him that all I got was “okay” and then he started talking about his problems…again which was annoying.

Last night I got annoyed at him because he always comes to me about stuff and says “you can tell *name* (his gf) but I’m just like if you want to tell her tell her yourself I’m not a carrier pidgeon or he will say “don’t tell his gf” and I’m like I wasn’t really planning on it

This morning he was complaining that apparently he had to help me.. so I got annoyed and said some harsh things again but it’s still all true but he can’t accept the truth:

Conclusion

I feel like I’m just a curse to this friendship and that I’m causing all these mental health problems for him…but idk how even if I don’t even open up much I cause something…

I’m so lost on what to do with this friendship and it’s doing me more harm than good ☹️

Riley_2001

@Rose113 Thank you for being open about all this situation, I can only imagine the stress this must place on you, especially when discussing really personal matters to you. It seems every word you say falls on deaf ears or blind eyes. You’re not a curse to your friendship nor have you specifically caused any of his mental health issues. I can certainly understand the anger in the texts since he won’t listen to any of your boundaries and expects you and only you to aid him, yet, he refuses to listen to you complaining when he “had” to help you. As well as not listening to your long texts and replying “okay” then discussing themselves again, it’s not fair to you.

Sometimes the best thing we can do is let go of certain people. Some people are just chapters that may be better left behind, especially if it’s doing you more harm than good, as you mentioned. It’s sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life, starts with goodbye. I’m sorry he’s not listening to any of your boundaries. Please, take care of yourself and always do what’s best for you. You deserve to have your boundaries respected.

amy02

Gosh thank you for sharing this with us @Rose113 I can't imagine how frustrating and stressful this situation must be You deserve to be heard in your friendship, and you did so well for clearly setting out your boundaries and expectations. As mentioned above, you are not the cause of this issue and your boundaries should be respected. It is absolutely okay to need space from a person if you are not being listened to Keep us updated, we're here for you

sinead276

I completely agree with Riley and Amy

it can be challenging dealing with a situation and friendship like this, especially when you feel it to be draining and detrimental to your own mental health. i think you've done well to set your clear boundaries - you are perfectly justified in doing so and it is important for your own mental wellbeing. at the end of the day, what matters is what's best for you. if the best decision for you is to step away from that friendship then that's okay and we all here support you in that.

sending lots of hugs